Monthly Archives: January 2014

Plans for today

I woke up this morning around 8 shocked that I haven’t received my food yet. Usually, the female comes out from the other room latest at 7.30 and gives us our vegetables. But not today. So, I woke up Kirk and we started screaming and shouting, asking for the food. Kirk even started to jump from and on his wood house and running around his room. Trust me, his butt touching the plastic floor could wake up even some dead bodies!

Finally, around 8.30 she came out, she looked at us and seemed like she was trying to decide if she would feed us or not. Honestly, we need to teach her a lesson! Impossible this humans! I even refused to get out on the couch and let her touch my butt!

Anyway, let’s come back to the subject… She is at home because she took a day off from work. I just hope this does not mean less money for her and, implicitly, less food for us. So, probably she will spend the day on the couch looking at us as we were some reality show from Animal Planet. She should really get a TV!

From my part, I plan to take advantage of the sun and to sleep in my room and run around on the couch. Maybe even pooping in the blanket. Just look at us how angelic we are when we sleep!

guineapigs_tales_lazy_day

(Written by Spock after breakfast.)

 

How to destroy physically two cats

When we were little kids, we used to play together all over the house for hours. While we were doing this, the human female was very passionate about things she could find on this particular screen. So she was paying no attention to us.

And we discovered she had two black cats. True, not very active, but still two cats! And the cats were always on the floor and following the female all over the place, being particulary very attached to her feet. Strange creatures this cats with their need to cover one’s feet…

So, we came up with a plan. We were to pretend we don’t see the cats and just wander around in the house. When the cats would have been sure we had nothing to do with them, we were to start crawling very close to the walls (to be undetectable) and approach the enemy from behind. I was supposed to attack the left cat and Spock the right one, as they were always together.

During the first attack, we’ve noticed that their moustaches tasted slightly like plastic. So, chewing was a very good idea. Strangely, the cats were not doing anything! No reaction, no complaint. So we thought that poor cats were actually waiting for someone to shorten their moustaches… But the human female did not seem very happy when she saw the result. We could suppose the cats were forced to wear those moustaches against their wills.

Of course, the frowning of the so called alpha female didn’t disturb our plan. And during the next times spent freely in the house, we even passed to their ears. Not very funny, as we discovered a dog passed by also and destroyed already one ear. We’ve started to ask ourselves if the dog is still in the house and where is he hiding. We’ve already searched under the oven!

guinea_pigs_tales_spock_kirk_cat

But this was when we were kids, I mean like 9 months ago… In the meanwhile, we found out there is no dog in the house and that the cats are actually slipers. But we tore them apart already. 😀

(Written by Kirk right before he went to bed.)

Pretending to be an owl

I am not the kind of pig able to sit still 10 seconds for a snapshot. When the flash should be used, one may bet the picture would be useless.

Still, sometimes I have moments of profound insight that make me think to our purpose in life and other philosophical stuff. But it takes no longer than one minute, so the human female must hurry in order to capture my intelligent facial expression.

I remember how once I’ve tried very hard to resemble with an owl. I was so absorbed by my efforts that I completely and truly forgot to move for more than 3 minutes. Enough for her to capture the way I was focusing my mind to achieve the goal, despite the vegetables laying on the ground.

I don’t know if you ever tried to play an owl, but it is very difficult. First, you need to convince your fur that it is actually feathers. Than your head must turn round, so you need to inhale a lot and keep the air in your mouth. Inhaling with your ears might also help… Your eyes will implicit turn bigger and round. After all this, holding your appearance, you must put your body in a shape of a sphere, convince your ears to point and balance on the very edge of a wood stuff.

You should look somehow like this:

guinea_pigs_tales_spock_owl

I know, I know, it’s not my best picture, but I was so focused to get there that I complete forgot to be photogenic.

(Written by Spock while waiting for his dinner.)

P.S. I also found pictures with me trying to resemble a mouse, a chicken, and other unknown animals…