When I was a little boy…

I must start saying that we share our apartment with 2, sometimes 3, humans. And the craziest about us is a female. We were leaving only with her for few months, so we got to train her well. And she is also our official photographer, this being how we have at the present time an archive with around 500 pictures. All were taken since March 2013…

As I really enjoy playing the photo model role (I’m able to pose and stay still for more than 30 seconds), I also like to search through my pictures and check what nice captures are in the archive. Just to reassure myself how perfect I am… So, the other day, I found this one from March 31, 2013:

guinea_pigs_tales_little_kirk

Honestly, I was shocked about the size of my ears. Huge! And this made me think that we may be born with already grown ears. So, our body grows, but not our ears… If this is not the truth, I have a big problem: my ears are still the same as when I was a kid. I should really measure them and keep an eye on the subject.

Also, look at my paws! They also seem huge… But now they seem normal. The only guy with whom I may compare myself is Spock, but he’s not relevant because he doesn’t have my dimensions.

Ups! I almost forgot to show you a picture with the actual (current) me.

guinea_pigs_tales_big_kirk

Am I beautiful or what?

(Written by Kirk in a very narcissist moment.)

I love my couch

Few months ago I’ve managed to convince the humans who are taking care of us to move my cage somewhere close to the couch. And only good things happened since then. 😀

Since I was a little pig (I mean really little, like 250 g), I had the feeling that I could find a lot of interesting stuff on the couch. First there was a blanket, than some paper, that made me believe that I should be the real master of the couch. And I’ve managed! Not only they moved my cage close to it, but I have full access during the day. This is an awesome thing! By the way, have you ever tried to spend some time on the couch?!

The humans, because they don’t have fur, need some kind of fluffy cover called blanket. My humans have one brown which is an awesome place to hide. And fell asleep… But I must be careful because they don’t have very good noses to realize I’m there. So I can’t really sleep in there if they are around. Anyway, I love pooping in their blanket.

What else can you find on my couch?! Well, some delicatessens like paper of any kind and cables. I just love chewing the paper towels and leaving a mess behind me! It’s fun! The cables are also very tasty, but I think I might have a problem with digesting copper – last time when I ate 2 cm of the headsets’ cable; I was indisposed for few hours. Or maybe it was from the plastic… Anyway, since my last encounter with the headsets, they bought new ones (I wonder why?!), blue, very attractive, but they keep them on the table.

Well, I’ve got to go to search new things to chew.

(Written by Spock in an interval of 24h, in his rare moments of tranquillity.)

How Guinea Pigs show up on Earth

If ever your Guinea Pig asks how he or she has been brought to life, don’t lie! Tell the truth: as the human babies are brought by a stork, we are here thanks to the owls.

No matter how amazing it seems, this is the honourable truth. At least this is what I’ve heard from the rabbits that were hosted near my cage in the pet shop… And I have no reason to believe they were trying to mislead me. Also, I’ve seen a number of owl toys in the pet shop, and the rabbits told me they are there to make the Guinea Pigs feel more comfortable.

Despite all this, I find it strange that I kind of get scared when somebody waves a cloth nearby. I’ve tried to analyse my behaviour from a psychoanalytical perspective and the only conclusion is that either I’m afraid an owl might get me back from where I came; either another bird might abduct and probably eat me… Although I’ve never heard of any such case.

A very difficult approach over my personality… Anyhow, remember: tell your Guinea Pig the truth about the owl! He will be able to watch Harry Potter with you after this.

(Written by Kirk in a moment of deep insight.)