Monthly Archives: February 2014

How to attack a cucumber

I love cucumber. I could eat one huge cucumber at every meal. But humans don’t seem to understand well this because they are kind of rationalizing my cucumber pretending that it contains too much water and it is not very good for my digestion.

This being said, you understand why eating a piece of cucumber it’s such a big deal for me. And I must calculate well how I should proceed in order to maximize the pleasure of serving it. Of course, in the days when I don’t get a cucumber, I think a lot to this issue and make plans for the next encounter with this kind of vegetable.

First of all, I must explain you that a cucumber looks like a cylinder, not considering the ends also. So it’s difficult to decidewhich side to attack first. Then, the peel is harder and the core is softer. So another problem to analyze: should I start with one or with the other? Anyway, this second issue has a simple answer – in order to get to the core, you need to pill the cucumber off. But, as logical as it seems, I’m still trying to find a new approach.

Back to our cylindrical problem, the end with which I should start is always a very important decision because it affects the speed of consumption. What if the cucumber is not a perfect cylinder and one end has a smaller diameter than the other? Because usually this is the case: humans don’t grow perfect cucumbers and it’s hard to do measurements for the diameters when you are hungry. So, the decision should be based on a critical visual analysis of the object, meaning the piece of cucumber.

In my case, as I can’t decide, I start with no matter which end, chew a little around it and then pass to the other end. This way, I’m creating a perfect ball. Not that I need or I could use a ball, but it is fun seeing the humans being ecstatic in front of my creation. Of course, after they stop being amazed with my ball, I eat it. Or sometimes I start with the middle… All depends of my mood.

I hope the humans won’t start to cut differently my cucumber before finding answers to my current questions. As you may get it, today I had no cucumber in my menu… (Below is an old picture.)

guinea_pigs_tales_kirk_cucumber

How cute I am

Almost from the begging it was clear that Kirk is the model, beautiful pig and I was the crazy, but very active one. Still, I don’t give up to the fight so fast! But it is very difficult to motivate myself to stay still for enough seconds to allow being photographed…

But my human female is getting more and more experienced in convincing me. For example, she knows very well that I’m not very comfortable at height so she tricks me. Last Friday she took me by surprise, raised me in the air and put me on the narrow part of a sideboard. Before noticing what’s happening, she already took some snapshots…

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And I remember how she tried almost one year ago to take a picture of me while yawning. She was almost sleeping on the couch with the camera turned on just to make sure she will not miss the moment. It took me a while to figure it out what she actually wanted… It was awkward to see her spying on me all day long. I  was almost afraid to go to sleep; that creepy the whole situation was. Finally, after two months of struggles, I manage to fell asleep and she managed to take the photo.

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Then she has all this weird “creative” ideas about how I would look good on a specific color or piece of cloth. And she is trying very hard to convince me to stay still for a photo. Of course I refuse! I am a little Guinea Pig but I have a huge personality! And she never tried to bribe me… She should understand that a piece of carrot might do miracles.

Look, she tried very hard to make me stay for long enough on a red bed sheet because she is convinced my eyes look better on that color. Finally, I’ve accepted, but just because I realized she would never give up to the idea.

Guinea_pigs_tales_spock_red

But, from time to time, I get to make fun of her and I show her the spot where my tail should have been…

guinea_pigs_tales_spock_buttNo matter the position, I’m still a cute pig. 😀

(Written by Spock in a moment of deep narcissism.)

Marooned

I can’t believe it! She left us. Again. For the second time in two months…

If last time I could understand it because it was Christmas and they have the right to visit their family (although I think we are sweeter and nicer!), this time I don’t get it. They left for Greece. Honestly, Greece?! To visit some old stones when you have two living furry creatures in your house!

To be sincere, I saw some signs on Monday evening: she was not in a hurry to go to sleep and even packed some stuff. But as she was packing in a back pack, I was almost sure is nothing serious. Which human female goes somewhere for four days with only a small back pack?! On Tuesday morning we realized things were serious – she was giving instructions to another human male about how we should be fed.

We know our new servant/maid/butler, but only as an acquaintance.  True, he lives in our house, but usually we have nothing to do with him. We tolerate his cuddling, but this happens rarely. And now we are left with him, and he has no idea about what we want or need.

Coming back to our personal humans, they left us again with other people. They could take us with them. We are not very demanding, some green leaves are to be found anywhere… But she chose to leave us home. And they took the laptop with them. The one that we already adapted with some shortcuts to make our lives easier. So we were left only with his laptop, a new and very hi-tech thing and we had to convince the servant to leave it closer to us.

For Christmas she gave so many instructions to the guys that served us for few days, that they were afraid to touch us. They thought we were very fragile and refused to take us out and cuddle. Horrible! Four days with no human on whom to pee or poo. Of course that when she came back we spent around 15 minutes each on her lap!

But this time I will not communicate with her for a week as a punishment! Just look at us how cute we are while waiting. How could she leave us?

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