This time I’m the philosopher! I’ve managed to discover by myself what the Guinea Pig’s purpose in life is, the whole meaning of our existence and the one of the existence of humans in our lives. I am so proud of myself and I want to share all this with you.
First of all, I’ve noticed that the human female gets happy every time I’m popcorning. And she even starts laughing when my popcorning comes together with some sawdust spreading all over the place. So I’ve trained myself and I became a master of spreading sawdust. Every evening when she does the cleaning of our private rooms, I popcorn and spread stuff around. Now, don’t imagine just two, three pieces or some hay, but imagine something like a rain of sawdust all over her, the couch and the surroundings of my room. Sometimes I amaze even myself with what I can do.
And, more surprisingly, the human males are not allowed to do this. If they would do something similar, I’m sure they would sleep on the porch, but only if they are lucky enough. Even more, they need to provide me with fresh hay, clean sawdust and food that can be carried around. But carefully, not to make a mess in the house…
So, she laughs when I do this and the humans are not allowed to do it. The only logical conclusion is that I was born to do this. Together with being a crazy scientist, of course. 😀 Also, apparently, I’m very good at it. Kirk can do it also pretty well, but because of his big butt he can’t really popcorn very high. But, still, he’s taking his duty very seriously also. And it hit me: we were meant to create disorder, to give people a purpose in life (cleaning after us).
How to do it? Simple! Be happy with your life and popcorn a lot. But a lot! And popcorn close to the margins of your private room, so all the sawdust can be spread outside it. When you are taking the usual walk in the house, chew every twigs tunnel you can find; spread the hay all over the place; pee and poo under the couches; find the celery and turn upside down the vase. Just do it! And the humans will be happy. If you don’t believe me, just check below. We have pictures proving that there is nothing wrong in doing it. I mean, we I am still here, writing this story… The first one is from the time we were sharing everything, and the second one is very recent and proving that I still master the technique.