Spock's tales

I am an intellectual for sure!

I think you all noticed that Kirk is the philosophical type, the pig with some wise tales in his pockets and opinions about complex staff like where the flies are flying in the winter. And I’m always on the run, too busy popcorning instead of spending five minutes thinking of the faith of the guinea pig kind.

But I actually am the intellectual type. The crazy scientist as one might say… My lab is my couch, the place where I can find a lot of interesting things to test on. Of course, I try everything by chewing them. And I realized I like best the paper. In any format. I suppose this is how I assimilate information, otherwise I have no explanation for the fact that I remember the Internet invoice should be paid by 13th of the month or that the hay is 1.49 euros. See how smart I am?!

Of course, the human female is documenting my research and we keep the photos for my biography, after I will win the Pigbel Prize for science. Kirk should get the one for philosophy… Anyway, please note how my eyes are glowing when I’m accumulating knowledge. And I’m almost sure I run around all the time to shake all the data I possess and fit it better in my small, absorptive brain.

I’m just made for science!


Kirk's tales

What a beggar I am!

I already told you I like food. But I haven’t told you yet how I like to taste what humans are eating. Sure, not everything, but if there are fresh fruits or vegetables, I practice my skills and convince them to share with me. 😀

Few months ago, the human male was having his breakfast at the table. I smelled some cucumber and looked around in my room – there were vegies, but no cucumber. So I had to have a piece! After all, it’s one of my favorites. I’ve waited a little bit just to check if the human self-intimations himself but, of course, as he is selfish, he continued eating with no sign of remembering my existence.

This was impossible! I’ve started wheeking from the bottom of my lungs. And I kept wheeking and wheeking as he continued eating. After two minutes or so, he noticed the noise especially that Spock decided to join me. He (Spock) even went out on the couch, approaching the human from the back with the visible intent of demanding food. I was very proud of him! Disturbed by our scandal, the human tried to talk his way out of trouble by calming us down and talking nicely.

But there was no chance! I wanted my cucumber and I had to have it. So I was wheeking and jumping all around my cage giving him the impression I could cause a little earthquake that could destroy the house. His house, not ours. 😀 Finally, he reacted, and gave me a piece of cucumber. What a precious piece! The food from other plates is always better then what I have in my own room.

And on Saturday it was the banana. I usually don’t eat fruits (I’m already sweet enough), banana included. The human male was having one in his hands and just walking around the house eating it. Although I was having enough food, practicing my manipulative skills is always a joy. So, I’ve started sniffing, wheeking discretely and waited to be noticed. It worked super fast.

The human female warned the male I was not liking bananas, and most likely she was right. But, as any positive gesture from humans should be rewarded in order to train them effectively, I got closer to the banana and grabbed a piece. Pretty tasty, but not my type. They were amazed and I was pleased. So I could go back to sleep being sure they are still in my power.


Spock's tales

Spock in a bag

Watch out where you leave you bags in our house! You may find one of us searching for something inside. Although the humans claim not to carry hay with them all the time, I am pretty sure you could find something interesting in every bag.

Like the other day, for example. Right after New Years’ Eve, I was taking a walk in the living room (the bedroom is Kirk’s territory). And I found a paper bag… I turn around it, smelled it, tried to decide if it’s worth chewing or not. Finally, I’ve decided to taste it, but not from the bottom, which was the closest part to me, but from the handlers. Because I’m not pig for an easy thing!

So, the struggle began. Me against the bag! The bag against me! I’ve started by sitting in front of it and trying to come up with a strategy. After 42 seconds I got bored, and I walked away to search for some food. I found some lost cereals on the floor from the age when we were still allowed to eat something like this. I chewed all, looking over my shoulder to check if Kirk was still in the bedroom.

When I’ve finished, I was so happy with my five cereals eaten without being caught by Kirk that I’ve started pop corning all over the place! In my excitement, I’ve hit the bag and it felt. I almost forgot about it… So I was even happier! I went to check what’s inside and surprise! There was hay!

I love hay! But humans don’t… Strange creatures! Anyway, I went in to the bag and hid inside and ate. What a lovely day it was!



(Written by Spock while pop corning remembering this happening.)

Kirk & Spock

They’ve washed the Bear!

We told you from the beginning that we probably won’t write too much together. Mainly because we can’t share anything without a fight, but that’s a different story… But today we will because we want to join our forces to protest.

The humans washed the Bear! Our beloved Bear smells like soap and lost all the scents we’ve tried to imprint him with. It is outrageous! We almost can’t believe it…

We’ve overheard the conversation few days ago and the subtle insinuations that the Bear stinks, but we really thought we were wrong and we heard bad because of our ears – they are as big as they were when we were little… But no! The male human took the Bear on Monday to a “wash saloon”. Which is actually the worst. A washing saloon?! Not even a dry cleaning?! We are indignant!

So, going back to our story, we were left without the Bear for almost one entire day and when finally we were allowed to visit him again (by turns, of course), he was incredibly stinky from our point of view. Soap?! If the humans wished to perfume the Bear, they could have used some celery or cucumber scent.

The Bear doesn’t seem very happy either… He folded himself and lay packed on the couch’s corner. Lonely, almost crying to have us with him. But again the humans stopped us from comforting him saying that at least for one day we should not poop on his furring.

How could they be so heartless? Just look at us how sweet we were together…

kirk_the bear


P.S. We forgot to tell you that the Bear is a blanket.

(Written by Spock & Kirk while the humans were buying vegetables.)

Kirk's tales

I’m a gourmand pig!

I am a 1.340 kg pig and I’m proud of it. The humans around me seemed a little worried when I’ve passed 1.3 kg, but after some research they reached to the same conclusion as I did: nothing is wrong. So, I just enjoy my vegetables. A lot!

I eat celery so fast that I could win a speed contest. Is there any in the world?! Cucumber disappears as if it was never near me and an endive stands no chance. And I have my methods of getting food… 😀

I’ve developed a sixth sense and I hear immediately the fizzle of a plastic bag. That means that one of the humans is manipulating some vegetables. And even if they are with their hands on something else, I don’t care and I pass to the next step of my plan. Screaming and shouting from the roof of my house always seems to give results – they can’t resist and feed me.

Anyway, today I want to share my pleasure in eating red paprika. It’s an amazing experience that attracts afterwards the human female with the camera. Apparently when they eat red paprika, they don’t paint their chin in red… I can’t really understand why they don’t want to mark the moment, but it’s their loss. I really like to “dye” my fur all over my neck and even a little to the belly.

Caught in the act:


Disturbed while sleeping for a photo session…guineas_pigs_tales_redpaprika1


No comment!kirk after red paprika

That red looks good on me, isn’t it?