Our purpose in life

This time I’m the philosopher! I’ve managed to discover by myself what the Guinea Pig’s purpose in life is, the whole meaning of our existence and the one of the existence of humans in our lives. I am so proud of myself and I want to share all this with you.

First of all, I’ve noticed that the human female gets happy every time I’m popcorning. And she even starts laughing when my popcorning comes together with some sawdust spreading all over the place. So I’ve trained myself and I became a master of spreading sawdust. Every evening when she does the cleaning of our private rooms, I popcorn and spread stuff around. Now, don’t imagine just two, three pieces or some hay, but imagine something like a rain of sawdust all over her, the couch and the surroundings of my room. Sometimes I amaze even myself with what I can do.

And, more surprisingly, the human males are not allowed to do this. If they would do something similar, I’m sure they would sleep on the porch, but only if they are lucky enough. Even more, they need to provide me with fresh hay, clean sawdust and food that can be carried around. But carefully, not to make a mess in the house…

So, she laughs when I do this and the humans are not allowed to do it. The only logical conclusion is that I was born to do this. Together with being a crazy scientist, of course. 😀  Also, apparently, I’m very good at it. Kirk can do it also pretty well, but because of his big butt he can’t really popcorn very high. But, still, he’s taking his duty very seriously also. And it hit me: we were meant to create disorder, to give people a purpose in life (cleaning after us).

How to do it? Simple! Be happy with your life and popcorn a lot. But a lot! And popcorn close to the margins of your private room, so all the sawdust can be spread outside it. When you are taking the usual walk in the house, chew every twigs tunnel you can find; spread the hay all over the place; pee and poo under the couches; find the celery and turn upside down the vase. Just do it! And the humans will be happy.  If you don’t believe me, just check below. We have pictures proving that there is nothing wrong in doing it. I mean, we I am still here, writing this story… The first one is from the time we were sharing everything, and the second one is very recent and proving that I still master the technique.

guinea_pigs_tales_kirk_spock_messguinea_pigs_tales_spock_messWe strongly recommed you to try this at home for the happines of your humans companions!

The prove!

Since we’ve started this blog, we’ve heard some humans expressing their doubts regarding the fact that a Guinea Pig could really write and use a laptop. And I find this offending! Humans have a very good opinion about themselves and very little consideration to our skills…

So, yes, it is me and Spock writing this blog. I definitely can and know how to use a laptop. It is not at all complicated, after you pass the urge of chewing the cables, of course. Because this is the big inner fight: not to pee on the keyboard and not to taste the cables! But with some self-control and motivation, is doable. For sure! And another problem is to convince the humans to leave the laptop somewhere accessible for us. I can use it, but I can’t fly from the couch to the table. I have my limits, but I’m thinking to bring a big parrot in the house that could carry me all over the place. 😀 Just don’t share yet my plan with the humans; I’m still searching for a way to manipulate them…

Let’s go back to our story and how easy is to use a laptop. On Saturday, for example, while she was cleaning the mess we do (Spock will share this one!), I’ve managed to convince her to put me in the master bed and to leave me there with the laptop. So, I had a good hour to write and do something to contribute to the development of my kind. First I made my tour in the bed, checked the sheets and quilts, asked for my fleece, peed, pooped etc. All this took me exactly 32 minutes and 14 seconds.

Then I went back in front of the laptop and I remembered I would love to check the Amazon for some wooden houses, sleeping bags and other Guinea Pigs’ indispensable stuff. I got lost on the Internet, like always, and I realized this after another 16 minutes and 23 seconds. It was really the time to start writing because I was sure the human female will reclaim her laptop soon.

It took me several minutes (OK, around 10…) to write this post. Of course the human female came, saw me and started shooting photos. So, I also have a visual prove of me really writing this blog. Since she was already around and I was done being creative for the moment, I asked to be teasel while Spock was tearing apart the house living room.

If you are a Guinea Pig and want to use a computer, just keep in mind you need to start by learning a foreign language – the humans’ language. It is not complicated at all, just need to pay attention to them. I don’t get why is so difficult for them to understand us! I could speak fluently their language since I was 3 months old, but they still have moments when they don’t understand me…

Anyway, check out the photos. And please note I turned off the laptop after finishing my work. Let’s be sustainable! And green. By the way, I love green!

guinea_pgs_tales_kirk_amazonguinea_pigs_tales_kirk_laptop

We’ve been busy…

Strange and unexpected things happened in the past two days. Kirk is still processing them, but with me goes easier, so I’ll just write them down.

First, on Wednesday evening something new popped up in our rooms. Strange object, strange shape, although a little bit familiar. I almost believed it’s an UFO, but that would have been most unusual as both humans were in the house and I heard Guinea Pigs’ UFOs are afraid of humans… So, now, after 2 nights spent with that object, I can describe it as a kind of a tunnel with a piece of a blanket inside it. To be honest, I don’t mind its presence, especially that the cloth is a fleece one, so soft and mild.

Eves dropping, I’ve found out that the tunnel was one for cats that was cut in two pieces, so we could have each one side of it. And the fleece cloth comes from a small blanket we had in the house. Although I would have appreciated a narrower tunnel (I’m not as huge as a cat!), I can live with this one for a while.

In the beginning I was extremely reluctant and just turned around it. I’ve also tried to chew it, but unsuccessful… Then I saw Kirk sleeping inside and I was reassured: if he was still breathing and not eaten, it meant it wasn’t an UFO. So I’ve tried it also and it is quite comfortable. I’ve spent yesterday the whole day analyzing it and testing the “matrass”.

And the second weird thing is the new device the human female brought in. She replaced her camera with a better one and she convinced the male to pay for it saying that it takes nicer shots with low light. So, imagine, she arrived home yesterday evening, ignored us, opened the parcel, took the camera out and started testing it on us. I mean, what are we?! Guinea Pigs?! She kept taking photo after photo for almost one hour. We’ve tried to hide in the tunnels, but no chance to tranquility.

I think I’ll start losing my fur if she continues this way. I’ll be like Gioconda, loosing paint, in my case fur, because of the great amount of pictures. Or she will steal my soul someday with that camera. Or I’m reading too much unverified information on the Internet…

Anyway, check below for some pictures with us and the new tunnels, courtesy of the new camera. (I admit, it’s better than the last one. :D)

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guinea_pigs_tales_kirk_tunnel

See, I’m nice and I put a picture with Kirk also! Now, regarding the color of my tunnel, I’m trying to convince her that white is not for me. And also, she still needs to learn how to use that camera! Kirk looks much better than I do… And this is definitely not the case.

(Written by Spock while testing his tuneel.)