Spock's opinions about humans

Our human male went crazy!

When our human male first encountered us he was pretty skeptical regarding the fact that we could amuse him. In the meanwhile he changed his opinion and became our truthful servant, reprimanding the human female when I was missing water or hay and he even started buying the 20 kilos sac of sawdust to make sure we always have it. And this brings us to the yesterday moment…

The human male went yesterday to buy a new bag of sawdust and he saw again (for the 4th time!) a white Guinea Pig still in the pet shop. Apparently he was there for several months and because of his white fur and red eyes, nobody wanted him. (I don’t understand this – I have the same appeareance, but I’m loved by my humans. True, some others think I’m creepy, but I don’t listen to them.) Sharing the same cage, there was a new one: black with white bottom and some brown and white hair in the middle of his head. The human male felt for it instantly…

It’s pointless to tell exactly how in few hours two almost sane people turned into some weirdos with four Guinea Pigs. But now we are four in the house! Maybe we weren’t occupying their time enough. Or maybe they just feel the need to save the others from a not very good fate in a pet shop. I still don’t know how to take this situation… I’m so confused that I spent 5 minutes in the arms of the human female letting her to caress me. She was also surprised!

We did not meet yet our new roomies because they are in quarantine for 40 days! We’ve just heard that they are called Worf (the black one) and Data (the white one); and that the white one has red ears, not grey like mine. Although the person from the pet shop said Worf is 3 months old, our human female doesn’t believe this: the new piggy is 723g, too much for 3 months. So, either he is really 3 months and a giant one, either the guys from the pet shop have no idea what they are talking about. But the human female wants to solve this mystery because she is decided to choose an anniversary date for each of us. Data seems normal for his 5 months, but our humans suspect he is less than this with at least 2 weeks.

Anyway, they seem not to be used with vegetables and very frightened, so I’m happy our humans took them. For the moment they are using our old very small cage until a new solution will be found. The human female already researched on the Internet and found some options, so the human male needs to visit all the stores in town to find the elements. And the female is worried they might fight and she should separate them like she did with us.

I just hope they won’t abandon us… Or forget about us. They are OUR humans! I could share them, but not give up to them for good. But maybe all this will end up well and one of the new piggies may even agree to share the same room with me. Imagine only how it would be to have two white piggies in the same spot. 😀

Before going back to my wood house and finding new methods to stay still for more than 2 minutes, I’ll share with you one photo of Worf and Data (I took it from the computer, as the human female already started using the camera on them!).

guinea_pigs_tales_worf_data

(Tomorrow Kirk will teach you how to embarrass your human.)

P.S. Yes, I spoke with Kirk, and we agreed to share the blog with Worf and Data, if they wish… We are good piggies! But we are still not changing anything to this blog. Not just yet.

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Kirk's opinions about humans, Kirk's tales, Uncategorized

How to wake up your human(s)

I don’t know why or from where they got this impression, but our humans think they should sleep long in the week-ends. Very strange habit and idea that has to be corrected; especially that it keeps them from fulfilling their duty to us.

Last week-end was not an exception and I had to take attitude and to convince Spock that this situation must not proliferate. We need to eat around 7:30h, we got used with this and this is how it should be. I am flexible, but not when it comes to food. When the sun goes up, I get up, so everybody else should do the same…

So, Saturday morning I’ve waited until 7:30, still hoping someone will come out of the bedroom with the clear intention of providing me the first round of vegies of the day. But no! My plan was done since one week ago when this situation also occurred, I just had to convince Spock to participate in, although he doesn’t really have the means for it. I’m saying this because I’ve decided to use my next big weapon after my brain: my butt. To sum it up: my butt needs vegies to stay fit, so it’s up to it to fight for food.

When you have a heavy, big, furry but, you know it can make a lot of noise when it touches the ground after a controlled fell. So, I jump from the top of my wood house and instead of placing nicely my butt on the floor, I just drop it. Once on the plastic floor, I start running around making sure to hit the margins of my room with the same weapon. Thanks all gods that I have fur and fat on my back, so it doesn’t heart at all when I’m doing this. You got the idea: butt on the floor, butt on the margins, salt on the roof of the house again and repeat! In the meanwhile, I was also wheeking very loud. But really loud, like somebody was trying to catch me and eat me.

Spock was doing his best also, although he is lighter than I and his butt is not that helpful. But he can wheek really loud also. He had a very good idea, though, and started chewing the bars and making a lot of supplementary noise.

After 10 minutes of hard work, the shindy must have awaken the humans because the human female came out of the bedroom disheveled, opened our rooms and fed us with some cucumber and parsnips. She tried to go back to sleep, but we did a really good job and she was not able to close her eyes anymore after our little show. She seemed a bit upset, but still sent a human to the market to buy us some dill.

guinea_pigs_tales_dill

For any advice on how to wake up your human during holidays or week-ends, contact us. We give advice for free, in this case. 😛

Spock's tales

Spock about food and about the gourmand Kirk

Yesterday Kirk explained you about our menu and how we trained the human to serve well our needs. (I hope she hadn’t forgotten to buy fresh vegies today.) He explained pretty nice how and what we should eat, but I think she failed in admitting how gourmand he really is. 😀

Before talking about Kirk, I should make one thing clear: I also love food. It’s just that I don’t have the time to eat it all as I’m always on the run. I like to keep my body super fit because it’s easier to escape from humans’ hands. At some point the human male was calling me a zucchini because in his opinion I resemble one. Honestly, I don’t see the resemblance (except the hard muscular fibers) and I also ask myself if he is color blind: as far as I know a zucchini is green and I’m completely white. And a zucchini has no red eyes… By the way, if I’m a zucchini, Kirk is an eggplant. Of course, the larger part of the plant is his back side. 😀

Coming back to my culinary preferences, if I would have the choice, I would pick cereals bars over vegies. But, from empathy to Kirk and his big butt, I had to give them up: he was gaining weight from it and he had to stop taking them, so I thought of being supportive. I remember there was a time when he used to help himself from my bar. Thanks all gods I have some evidence… If not one may think I’m talking nonsense.

guinea_pigs_tales_cereals_bar

In line after the cereals, my favorite thing to eat is the hay. Of course I drag it all on the floor and try to sleep on it, but there is nothing funnier than digging for the best blade of dried grass. I really enjoy this. It also helps stretching the muscles.

guinea_pigs_tales_spock_long

Just that sometimes I don’t remember where I put the best piece. And Kirk keeps making fun of me that it’s right on top of my nose… I looked several times, but there was nothing!

guinea_pigs_tales_spock_onthenose

OK, not very inspirational post today, but I’m already dreaming of the week-end…

Kirk's opinions about humans, Kirk's tales

Our weekly menu: a big challenge!

Our human female promised on Facebook that we will write an article regarding our weekly menu and the importance of vegies in our lives. Amazing how she speaks for us! I think we need to explain her once again that her rights are limited to some PR and SEO activities, but she is not our spokesperson. She still needs to prove we can trust her… However, she promised on our behalf, so we should defend our honor and really write about how your human should feed you, my furry Guinea Pig friend. And it is on me to write about this because I am the gourmand one.

I must start by saying that in the beginning our human had no idea regarding how she should really take care of us. She red some websites in Romanian, but the information was poor and all she got was that we need vegetables, but no clear list upon what is good and what is not good for us. Then we arrived in her house. After few days while we had a lot of carrots and some celery, we convinced her to search data in other languages also. Yeah, it’s easy to try to find something in your mother tongue, but Romanians are not really experts in Guinea Pigs. 😀 So, she found a very nice website + forum in French. I would like to thank to the owner of that website for saving us from a boring diet with only two vegies.

Now let’s get to the point! A Guinea Pig is a gourmand vegetarian creature. If a human can survive eating only one or two vegetables per week, we can’t. Actually we will manage it, but we’ll get as seek as some humans are. And unhappy… We are also fool of caprices: today we may really enjoy one vegetable and tomorrow we won’t even look at it. This is what I do with some boring vegies like parsnips: if I’m in a good mood, I’ll eat it; if not, I won’t even touch it. So, you’ve got this first point, yes?! Diversify!

Next, you need to keep in mind that we should have at least 1/10 of our weight in vegies each day. I and Spock are getting more than this. Happy us! But, there are vegies you could eat all day long, and vegies that should be consumed not that often. And there are vegies rich in vitamin C, but also in Oxalic Acid which is not good for us. And some are very rich in water and eaten excessively could cause diarrhea. So moderation and balance are another two key words for our diet. I know it’s complicated and that is why we assist our main human in drafting the menu: every time she makes a mistake, we shout loud.

A comprehensive list with the vegies good for us can be found here. And I think is pointless repeating the same information. I just hope your human is not too lazy busy to open the link.

Now, my dear furry reader (and eventually human reader…), I know you may like licking chocolate, yogurt and other fancy food from your humans’ fingers, but they are not really good for you. They may taste well, but on long term your health will suffer. Trust me, I’m a Guinea Pig! Vegies are better for us. Just look at the differences: our fur is shiny, humans’ hair needs conditioning for that; we can popcorn, they can’t; we poop a lot, they do it once per day (if they are lucky enough)…

I am a very good piggy – I eat all my vegetables. You should do the same and you may get one day to be a great philosopher as I am. Still, I refuse to eat the radish. I could eat tones of radish leaf, but not the red/white part. I refuse, it’s that simple. And my human got it. Like she got it for the tomatoes and some fruits. But I could eat one huge cucumber every day or celery greens until I can’t move. Here we still have a problem: she refuses to give me as much as I would like. You need to keep in mind that training your human is essential in order to secure more spare time for thinking, pooping and sleeping in the future.

Before ending this, I’ll attach a photo of our menu for this week. The fundaments are simple: every day 4 different vegies, every day one vegie with vitamin C, and no more than one vegie rich in calcium per day. In addition, hay as much as we can munch and drag in the cage, pellets with no cereals, and rarely (since I passed 1.3 kilos) some cereals bars.

guinea_pigs_tales_menu

By the way, in case some humans are also passing by: you, the biped one, vegies are good for you too!

(I wonder what Spock will write tomorrow. Or maybe he has no inspiration and he will wake me up in the middle of the night to prepare something…)

Spock's opinions about humans, Spock's tales

Sleeping positions for an active pig

I’ve noticed Kirk talked a lot about my personality yesterday… Like he doesn’t know I’m reading this blog also! And not all is true – I stay very still when I’m sleeping.

Also, I would like to add that I like being cuddled, but respecting my own terms, not the ones imposed by humans. Meaning that I really enjoy being caressed, but only if I am in my apartment. So they need to strech and fold in very weird positions to be able to touch me and get from my part the lovely piggish sounds. My terms apply also to other activities, like getting out on the couch… If I want to go and chew something, I do it when no human is using that object. But if they are around and try to catch me on the couch, I’m very tenacious and find an impossible way to pass over them and go back to my penthouse. Resiliant may also describe me.

And I need to say something about Kirk too: he loves spending 20 minutes lying on the chest and neck (yeah, weird preferences!) of our human female. He is not moving, just making cute little noises. I could not stay still for so long! And this gets us back to our subject…

Actually, I get so tired after running around on the couch and running from humans (whenever I go out on the couch, they feel the need to try grabbing me and kissing me and hugging me!) that I go back to my apartment and fell asleep at once. And I don’t even remember how I ended up sleeping in some positions… It’s a tough life being a pig!

But then I wake up and find the hay and life is active once again. Until I realize the human female documented all my moves and took a lot of pictures with me in some very awkward positions… Than my life turns in to a struggle to get to those photos and delete them. Of course, after a hypnosis session to try to remember what else I’ve been doing.

But, since the pictures are here, I might even share them myself and make sure she gains nothing on my behalf. I suspect she may try to sell them to some life styles magazines for the Guinea Pigs. (I saw her searching the contact details for Cosmopiglitan…)

So, watch and learn!

guinea_pigs_tales_spock_hanging

(I almost felt few times, but let’s keep the secret!)guinea_pigs_tales_spock_rolling

(Don’t trust everything you see: I sometimes act looking wretched, so that the humans come and comfort me. It gives them a purpose in life…)

Stay tuned! Tomorrow we will explain you how we supervise our human “building up” our weekly menu. 😀

Kirk's opinions about humans, Kirk's tales

A philosophical approach over our personalities

Humans in general have the impression that we, the Guinea Pigs, are all the same and our personalities are linear. Nothing more far away from the truth! After one year of sharing the house with Spock and some humans, I can have a very professional and philosophical approach over this subject and, as I have some time and space to express it, I’ll share it with you. Maybe you can convince your humans to read it and understand we are not all the same…

First of all, I must tell you that we were named after the Spock and the Kirk from Star Trek. Very original! If you would allow me this little tiny sarcasm… Our human female struggled a lot to come up with nice names for her two presents (masters, to be correct!), but she could only be this original. Of course, we were forced to watch the Star Trek 2009 several times just to see where our names are coming from. The funny part is that she got them all wrong. I mean I’m more a Spock and our Spock is more of a Kirk. I know: you lost me! I lost my self also…

When we were little, but I mean really little, I was more curious and Spock shyer. But, after he bit me (a complete different story to be told in the future), and with the age I choose to be the thinker, the more analytical one. I took this path also because my big butt doesn’t give me too much of a choice: it’s easier to sit on it all day long and pretend to think about something clever.

And the white pig sleeping close to me in this moment is definitely the daring one! He dares to check every corner of the house, including in the bathroom under the sink, and to chew even the most expensive headsets. After that he looks the humans in the eyes and he gets away with everything. Totally like the Kirk from the Star Trek.

But my furry Spock got his name because of his red eyes, considered by our human female very similar to the pointy ears of the Star Trek Spock. And I got to be Kirk because I have some brown fur and she considered I looked more like that character… (I told you before that our main human is not quite normal!)

What I actually want to say is that we are very different: I prefer to eat and chill, Spock prefers to run around and check the couch. I pee a lot, although I’m not drinking much water; he consumes water regularly, but pees less than I do. (Too much details, isn’t it?! :D) I like to be cuddled and I can stay still for 20 minutes on the chest of my main human just to prevent her from doing anything else, he is not able to sit still outside his cage for more than 1 minute. I think you’ve got the point!

By the way, this is how I look like when I’m thinking to something philosophical:

guine_pigs_tales_kirk_the_philosopher

Spock's opinions about humans, Spock's tales

Too hot and too much light!

We live in Belgium, a country where it rains a lot. But a lot! The winter here is just a longer fall. Actually, the whole year looks like an incredible long rainy season. Or at least this is what we heard from other furry creatures in the pet shop…

Until now we can honestly say that a winter as warm as a fall is no problem for us. Yeah, the humans which need to go out to buy vegies for us may have a problem, but we advise them to take an umbrella or a jacket with a hood. And, after all, they are not as fragile we are, so some rain won’t damage them irreparably.

But… With the spring & summer being as a fall, we really have an issue. Not because it was, but because it wasn’t! And we are living in an apartment where our official territory (the living room) faces south, so imagine that. Last year, in our first year of life on this Earth, we had to face 28° C and a lot of light coming through the windows. I have beautiful red eyes, but they kind of tend to hide when strong light is chasing them. So, I wheeked several times, the human female finally understood and bought curtains.  (As there is not much light usually, they were not needed…)

Than the heat knocked us out. The human female was not really understanding our signals and she kept putting the wood houses back in there “normal” position for two days or so. But, finally, after a small warning bite, she understood that we are trying to redecorate and to cool down a spot. Maybe for her 30° C in the room was a blessing, but not for us! So, after we tried several times without success to undress our furs (it is not possible, apparently, like in the case of humans), we decided to make a space protected by light and to remove also the sawdust from there. Of course, after the heat passed, we put everything in the right place.

Just check how good interior designers we are. 😀

guinea_pigs_tales_heat

This week-end it was summer all over again. We are not complaining, but we need to meet up and decide the measures to be taken if this continues. Anyhow, we’ll keep you posted.

Kiss you all,

Spock

P.S. I’ve got to run now! Run, Forest Spock, run!