Monthly Archives: April 2014

Our staff

guinea_pigs_tales_worf_profileKirk and Spock explained this week-end the situation of our staff. I thought only the human female and the human male that are sharing the apartment with us are our servants, but apparently I was wrong. And after behaving not very swaggering with two bipeds, the big boys felt the need to point out the different positions among our staff…

First of all we have the human female. She is an Administration and Communication Manager for us, meaning that she is in charge of our PR (blog, social media, mass media…) and that part of our life that requires planning and organization (menu, cleaning, appointments, improvements etc.). Then there is the human male, his main responsibility being to provide sawdust and different other stuff, as indicated by her. Also, from time to time he needs to go to the market and provide large quantities of dill. The vegie stock is kept up to date by both of them…

Then we have godparents. Each of them has a special utility and the human female selected them according to our needs. The honor of being our godparents was offered to them in order to secure their support. So, Kirk’s godfather is also our official transporter. No, don’t think of Jason Statham, it has nothing to do with him. But every time the main humans are going on vacation for few days, he has the means to transport all our belongings to the temporary servant.

Spock’s godmother is one of our temporary servants. I was told this because I had never visited her mansion. But Kirk and Spock had the chance to stay with her for few days.

Data has also a godmother. Actually he got a whole family of godsomething. His actual godmother is a little girl of 5, and she is very important in our equation also: her parents were once temporary servants for Spock & Kirk and whenever they visit us, they bring fresh vegies as gifts.

I have a godfather, also 5 years old, but a boy. I was speechless yesterday when I heard he watched our short movie and recognized me. Of course his parents are very important for us because they are also temporary servants.

On top of all this, we have a vet. Thanks to The Great Guinea Pig God that we don’t need do see him very often. I mean once per year is more than sufficient.

Of course, there are other worshipers around, but they come and go… Do you have you own staff?

Improvements

guinea_pigs_tales_spock_profileFirst of all, I apologise for our prolonged absence. We were brainstorming over this blog and our future as international stars. And this takes time. Plus, Kirk worked a little with me to see the hidden reasons behind my epilepsy seizure. But let’s take it point by point…

Kirk thinks my epilepsy seizure was due to stress: new piggies in the gang, moving in different rooms, losing the access to the couch etc. So, he proposed a plan on how to manipulate our humans to address these issues. Playing upset was the first step and it worked perfectly fine. The human female can’t stand seeing us sad or unhappy, so she is very willing to give up space, money and other resources to please us. It is awesome to have a servant this dedicated!

One day I saw her taking the pliers and starting to cut a grill. She made a square hole and then started to cover the margins in some cloth and tape so I wouldn’t hurt myself when going out. It took her about one hour to prepare everything… But it’s done and now I have again straight access to the couch, paper, invoices etc. True, I’m not yet taking full advantage of the situation, but it will come. And I gave up of my upset face. I even allow again the human female to pick me from the top of my wood house, to pet me on the couch and then to chase me. Fun!

Next, I convinced her that sometimes I need a curtain. My own curtain, not the ones already installed in the house. I am the only one with truly red eyes, so almost no pigment, and strong light bothers me. So, a cloth is at my disposal to be arranged on my room in order to allow me to fully explore and use the space with my eyes wide open.

Actually, this is how it looks like:

guinea_pigs_tales_improvements

Another victory over the humans is the fact they bought a tripod for the camera. We believe we could be really successful in the showbiz industry, but for this we need to have the possibility to show how good we are. So good quality pictures and short movies in full HD are a must! Now that we have the tripod, we can film ourselves and show to the world what a lavish life a Guinea Pig star should have. By the way, our first project was to prove how loud we can be, but we were a little bit intimidated by the camera so not very noisy. Still working on it… Servants are here to support us!

Oh, and this morning Data took the time to create a YouTube channel for us and a Google+ page. He really enjoys this entire social media thing.

Now I’m going back for another brainstorming session to decide upon the next posts on the blog. And to figure it out how we can manipulate the human female to stop her “The Mentalist” marathon and give us more time with the laptop…

Our first Easter

guinea_pigs_tales_Data_profileOur first Easter just passed. To be very honest, I wouldn’t have noticed if it weren’t for two strange things. First of all, the human female was off for work also on Monday (yesterday). This explains why we wrote nothing… I mean she restrained the laptop for the whole three days and we’ve got no chance to use it. Oh, and second: we’ve kind of had to pose with some dyed eggs.

On Sunday morning we had our little chit chat for planning the day and suddenly Kirk turned white (for Spock was not really evident…) and informed us he had a special mission for us. He explained it was Easter for humans, or at least for some of them, and they have some strange habits. Among them: posting photos with bunnies and dyed eggs on Facebook. No bunnies around, so some Guinea Pigs should do the trick!

Last year our human female asked Spock and Kirk to help her and be models for her photos, but they did not actually enjoy the process. So, an almost hysterical Kirk told us that it’ our turn to behave and sacrifice ourselves for some likes on Facebook. We saw them so confused and accepted to take the burden out of their shoulders. But I had no idea what I was agreeing for…  Also, I was almost convinced they were exaggerating.

But around 10 am the human female started some weird preparations: she brought a green towel and some dyed eggs and arranged everything on the couch. Then she lured us with some celery and made us to smile nicely for a photo with the eggs. (Kirk refused to stay still and Spock hid in the corner of his wood house.) Finally, after tens of photos, we were left in peace… True, we’ve got some funny ones!

Worf was more in to the celery than photo shooting, so the human female had to try a different approach. Up and behind…

worf_eggs

I resisted for one nice photo…

data_eggs_1

… than I’ve decided it was time to explore.

data_eggs_2By the way, no eggs were harmed in the making of this pictures.