Having a good human servant means that you need to give them the impression their live is still belonging to them. They should not feel that you are in control and you need to create very carefully this appearance.
For example, our the docking space of our Mother Ship was taking over a corner of the couch and was making useless a large amount of space from the living room due to the position. So we’ve organised a council and decided to make our humans happier by redesigning the interior of their apartment. Especially that the young Data was always chasing around Worf and stilling his food, so they had to be separated if we didn’t want to have a case of severe frustration in our hands. I’m too busy with my own research and have no time to be Worf’s psychiatrist…
Saturday it was the big day. I went to the bedroom and spent some quality time on my own and delegated to curious Spock the task of supervising the works. He is very good at this because he tends to interfere in the humans’ activities and to check everything. In the meanwhile, the little boars were placed in an orange blanket on the couch with clear instructions not to pee on it. Of course they forgot my words in less than 10 minutes… Teenagers! (By the way, they have yet no problems sharing the couch, but they are not able to live in the same room.)
So, under the strict supervision of Spock, the humans started expanding a little bit the Mother Ship, dividing better the space and turning around the furniture in the room. The purpose was to arrange their room in a way that would allow us to keep an eye on the house at all times and them to have the feeling they are still having some rights in the house. After all, they are paying the rent and Belgium is a rainy country: we wouldn’t like living on the streets! It was like a huge puzzle and a lot of furniture had to be moved several times to create a nice space where the other humans coming with offerings to us could enjoy a cup of coffee or a beer.
Spock did a great job. He was constantly checking under the couches and helped moving them; and he even inspected the vacuum cleaning process to make sure our hay won’t end up being destroyed. Also, he kept a very close eye on the human male while he was measuring the coroplast and passed over it to make sure there are no defects and everything was built at high standards. In the meanwhile, Worf and Data were being moved all over the place with the couch… As I already said: teenagers!
Now the Mother Ship is docked in a place where humans can have access easily to all of our rooms especially that the little crazy piggies are still under treatment. I and Spock are back close to the couch and the humans (I spent the whole Sunday sleeping on my wood house and supervising the surroundings!) and both couches and armchairs are ready to be used by humans.
This is how are home looks like:
See you tomorrow!
The Tales of the Guinea Pigs Gang 