How to make fun of your humans

Hello! Worf here. This is my first self-standing blog post and I am very proud of myself. I would like to thank Kirk and Spock for this opportunity and for everything they teach me: wheeking out loud until I turn hoarse, asking insistently for my favourite food and chewing the bars just to annoy the humans. Priceless education! I would also like to thank to the owl kind for bringing me in to the world, to the pet shop for finding me a good human, to Data for not eating me, to… Oups! Spock is giving me a look saying I should get to the point.

The elder piggies also taught us how to have a lot of fun making fun (yeah, I’m repeating myself…) of the humans. For example, on Saturday we’ve got our first trip into the house. Although the humans assumed we will stay scared under the couch, it was not the case. Having older mentors has a lot of advantages in terms of learning how to deceive the bipeds and up to what point you can trust them. I mean, I still pretend I’m scared they might eat me, but I know they won’t.

So, before going out, Kirk took us for a little chat and explained that at some moment in time the humans will consider it’s high time for us to go to our rooms. But we should not agree with this and under no circumstances accept to be caught. Data seemed a little bit confused about all the instructions, but I’ve kind of got the point and I was looking forward to check the floor.

And there we were. On the floor. Data froze under the couch in Kirk’s tray for hay, but I was very brave. So brave that I quickly explored what was under the couches and then I seized the opportunity to go in to the bedroom. Wow! An entire new world opened for me in there: shoes boxes, a lot of space under the bed and even some clothes on the floor. Amazing! Data joined me after a while, but only after the human female chased him and made him move.

We were having our fun when the humans decided it was time for dinner. I understood that with Kirk and Spock it was easy: the human was preparing their cages, placed them on the floor and they were willingly going in for dinner and sleep. I say “it was” because now we all share the Mother Ship which is too large to be moved so easily (we don’t give the access codes to humans!), so new solutions have to be found. She tried to bribe us with fennel placed in strategic positions where we could be trapped, but I run faster than she reacts. And I also discovered the humans can’t fit under the couch, under the Mother Ship and especially between boxes and other accessories. After all, there are some advantages for being small.

After more than 40 minutes of good laugh, we decided we were hungry so we let them catch us. We ended up in our rooms happy and looking forward for the food, but the humans were exhausted, with dishevelled hair and cloths full of sawdust and hay. Also they were having the impression they could rest a little before feeding us. But they were so wrong: when we all four started wheeking, they had to feed us. Not even an army of earplugs would have helped them!

I do not have pictures with us hiding under stuff, but I have one with me hiding in my wood house.