guinea pigs tales

The ugly duck

They convinced me to try to stay still and write something on this blog… And I must begin by saying it is very difficult for me to do this. I move less only when I sleep, and now I am not sleeping so I don’t get the point of staying still. I understood Spock was the same, but lately he seems to have calmed down. But it’s not about staying still I want to talk today. It is about how ugly I am…

First of all, I am a white piggy with red eyes. A lot of humans find me creepy (I also find them strange) so I spent four months in the pet shop seeing other piggies come and go and sometimes sharing the cage with bunnies. I suspect they put them in in an attempt to get rid of me… Then our human male came, felt in love with Worf and took me also home.

After a while, they discovered I have otitis and a treatment began. They were pouring some sort of oily cream twice per day in my ears. By the way, I have no pigment on my skin, so my ears are pink, transparent in light and you can notice the blood vessels. All that cream made them even more transparent (I still have them!) and drained in to my ears, but also on my fur. So no I look like I was plucked.

I saw myself in the mirror the other day and I realized I was ugly. I start sobbing and the human female needed to calm me down. OK, I am not really that ugly, but just not very attractive for the moment. And all the other piggies in the herd have something sweet… Kirk has a big, fluffy butt, Spock looks like a baby polar bear and Worf has all that nice color combination. I’m afraid if I don’t show a beautiful side, they will put me again in the pet shop.


So, I came up with a plan. First, a healthy diet: only fresh vegetables to make my fur look better. Second, my treatment ended on Thursday, so no new cream on my fur. Of course, no more otitis also. And last, but not least, a lot of love from my humans and my buddies. (Spock seems fine with the idea of loving me. Kirk tries hard to show who the boss is, but I know he loves me too.)

I realized there is still hope when I saw my picture from the header of this blog.

guinea_pigs_tales_Data_profileSo, long story short: the plan is to turn in to a Guinea Pig swam.

guinea pigs tales

How to make fun of your humans

Hello! Worf here. This is my first self-standing blog post and I am very proud of myself. I would like to thank Kirk and Spock for this opportunity and for everything they teach me: wheeking out loud until I turn hoarse, asking insistently for my favourite food and chewing the bars just to annoy the humans. Priceless education! I would also like to thank to the owl kind for bringing me in to the world, to the pet shop for finding me a good human, to Data for not eating me, to… Oups! Spock is giving me a look saying I should get to the point.

The elder piggies also taught us how to have a lot of fun making fun (yeah, I’m repeating myself…) of the humans. For example, on Saturday we’ve got our first trip into the house. Although the humans assumed we will stay scared under the couch, it was not the case. Having older mentors has a lot of advantages in terms of learning how to deceive the bipeds and up to what point you can trust them. I mean, I still pretend I’m scared they might eat me, but I know they won’t.

So, before going out, Kirk took us for a little chat and explained that at some moment in time the humans will consider it’s high time for us to go to our rooms. But we should not agree with this and under no circumstances accept to be caught. Data seemed a little bit confused about all the instructions, but I’ve kind of got the point and I was looking forward to check the floor.

And there we were. On the floor. Data froze under the couch in Kirk’s tray for hay, but I was very brave. So brave that I quickly explored what was under the couches and then I seized the opportunity to go in to the bedroom. Wow! An entire new world opened for me in there: shoes boxes, a lot of space under the bed and even some clothes on the floor. Amazing! Data joined me after a while, but only after the human female chased him and made him move.

We were having our fun when the humans decided it was time for dinner. I understood that with Kirk and Spock it was easy: the human was preparing their cages, placed them on the floor and they were willingly going in for dinner and sleep. I say “it was” because now we all share the Mother Ship which is too large to be moved so easily (we don’t give the access codes to humans!), so new solutions have to be found. She tried to bribe us with fennel placed in strategic positions where we could be trapped, but I run faster than she reacts. And I also discovered the humans can’t fit under the couch, under the Mother Ship and especially between boxes and other accessories. After all, there are some advantages for being small.

After more than 40 minutes of good laugh, we decided we were hungry so we let them catch us. We ended up in our rooms happy and looking forward for the food, but the humans were exhausted, with dishevelled hair and cloths full of sawdust and hay. Also they were having the impression they could rest a little before feeding us. But they were so wrong: when we all four started wheeking, they had to feed us. Not even an army of earplugs would have helped them!

I do not have pictures with us hiding under stuff, but I have one with me hiding in my wood house.


By the way, we are trying to convince Data to write something for the blog also. It might take awhile…

guinea pigs tales, Spock's tales

An epilepsy seizure

Yesterday I had a very nasty episode…  And I had no idea it was about to happen, so it took me totally unprepared. I just had my dinner (carrots’ greens and some lettuce) and I was watching the human male getting ready for work. Outside it was raining with thunders and lightning, but inside The Mother Ship everything was fine.

Suddenly I lost control over my body. My nerves were not helping me anymore to control my muscles and I was moving kind of chaotic, if I managed to move at all. I got really scared and tried to hide in the wood house, but my body was almost useless. My head was moving spasmodically and my eyes were rolling so fast I couldn’t check the surroundings. I looked like I was on drugs…

The human female thought in the beginning that there is a bug either on me, either in the cage. When she removed the wood house to check she realized something was wrong with me and took me out from my room. On the couch things were no better and I ended up in her lap, on a blanket. All I could do was to try to keep calm (very difficult for me) and hope for the best.

As I had no idea what was wrong with me, I allowed the humans to give me some charcoal and vitamin C to prevent some potential side effects of an accidental poisoning. But my body kept doing funny moves, so the human female rang a vet emergency cabinet. She quickly checked if they had the expertise, but it turned out they had no idea about piggies. Then she called our vet and luckily he was on call and already at the clinic for another emergency. The human servant packet me fast in a blanket (I refused to go in to the small box) and we took a taxi and there we were.

On our way the taxi driver kept explaining my human how he lost his 14 years old cat, but I’m pretty sure he had no idea what a Guinea Pig is. When we arrived at the vet, there was already somebody inside. And this somebody came out crying and with no animal… My human was already scared than me.

In the meanwhile my eyes stopped rolling and I realized where I was. I’ve been there twice before and for once I had an injection, so it was time to re-become active and convince them everything was fine. The vet was not impressed with my performance. He insisted on giving me another injection and explained to my already freaking out human that it was a seizure of epilepsy and it might not occur ever again. I hope so… I definitely need to take revenge on that vet!

The funny part was while waiting outside for our taxi: she put me and the blanket on a window sill to protect me from the rain and to give me a sense of stability. As soon as I sensed solid ground under my paws I wanted to run away and explore. So I kept her busy for five minutes… And when we got home I immediately went to check if there was still some hay left.

Look, this is the proof that I’m still alive:


The photo was taken 10 minutes after we arrived home and I couldn’t convince Data to step away from the frame. By the way, tomorrow I’ll let Worf to tell you how you can make fun of your humans. 😀

P.S. I heard the human saying to the vet that she refused to transport me in the box because she thought that if the worst will happen, I should be in her arms, not scared in plastic box. I just like to tell her to have a little faith: I’m the crazy Spock and I’m just 14 months old! I’m planning to stick around for a while, especially now that we have new piggies in the gang and a brand new Mother Ship!

Kirk's opinions about humans, Kirk's tales

The upgrading of the Mother Ship

Having a good human servant means that you need to give them the impression their live is still belonging to them. They should not feel that you are in control and you need to create very carefully this appearance.

For example, our the docking space of our Mother Ship was taking over a corner of the couch and was making useless a large amount of space from the living room due to the position. So we’ve organised a council and decided to make our humans happier by redesigning the interior of their apartment. Especially that the young Data was always chasing around Worf and stilling his food, so they had to be separated if we didn’t want to have a case of severe frustration in our hands. I’m too busy with my own research and have no time to be Worf’s psychiatrist…

Saturday it was the big day. I went to the bedroom and spent some quality time on my own and delegated to curious Spock the task of supervising the works. He is very good at this because he tends to interfere in the humans’ activities and to check everything. In the meanwhile, the little boars were placed in an orange blanket on the couch with clear instructions not to pee on it. Of course they forgot my words in less than 10 minutes… Teenagers! (By the way, they have yet no problems sharing the couch, but they are not able to live in the same room.)

So, under the strict supervision of Spock, the humans started expanding a little bit the Mother Ship, dividing better the space and turning around the furniture in the room. The purpose was to arrange their room in a way that would allow us to keep an eye on the house at all times and them to have the feeling they are still having some rights in the house. After all, they are paying the rent and Belgium is a rainy country: we wouldn’t like living on the streets! It was like a huge puzzle and a lot of furniture had to be moved several times to create a nice space where the other humans coming with offerings to us could enjoy a cup of coffee or a beer.

Spock did a great job. He was constantly checking under the couches and helped moving them; and he even inspected the vacuum cleaning process to make sure our hay won’t end up being destroyed. Also, he kept a very close eye on the human male while he was measuring the coroplast and passed over it to make sure there are no defects and everything was built at high standards.  In the meanwhile, Worf and Data were being moved all over the place with the couch… As I already said: teenagers!

Now the Mother Ship is docked in a place where humans can have access easily to all of our rooms especially that the little crazy piggies are still under treatment. I and Spock are back close to the couch and the humans (I spent the whole Sunday sleeping on my wood house and supervising the surroundings!) and both couches and armchairs are ready to be used by humans.

This is how are home looks like:

guinea_pigs_tales_mother_ship_2See you tomorrow!

guinea pigs tales, Kirk's tales

A sort of a guest post

As I was saying earlier this week, we were planning to check if Worf and Data can produce something intelligent for this blog and if they can actually know how to use a laptop. Finally, we’ve managed to do this yesterday evening. To be more specific, I was supervising from the top of my wood house and Spock was showing an incredible amount of patience towards them. But he managed to have some words from them… I will not proof reading their productions because I believe that for the first time you should all have the chance make an opinion.

Let’s start with Worf, who was eager, but also scared to give it a try.

“I am writing on a blog! Oh my! And I can write about anything according to Kirk and Spock… Maybe I should tell you about the tunnel, or better about the blanket, or… Oh, I have so many things to write about! I hope I’ll get the chance to share them all. But for the moment I just want to say that Data is always taking the food from my mouth, that I am the obedient one and that I have a fungus caused by stress and I’m getting treatment for it, although I don’t like the procedure. I also discovered I can wheek loudly and convince the humans to give me pellets. They are my favourite!

“Regarding the stress, who wouldn’t be in the same conditions? I mean I was subject to Data’s domination in a very small cage in the pet shop, then we’ve changed the residence and we were first introduced to vegies (I love fennel!), then we were moved in a bigger place and now even in a bigger one… And we’ve met two others of our kind. Stressful life. But I hope we are settled for the time being. I just want to be able to popcorn as much as I want. Now I’m going back to sleep.”

And, the hard part, Data… Please excuse the style.

“Blog?! What’s that? Who has the time? … I want to chew all the coroplast! All! And get to Spock and even Kirk. I’m on the run… I’m jumping on the keyboard… ajkhgkugfyuzirhleihflziugha Worf, what are you eating there? I want it! By the way, I have otitis and I was to the vet. I don’t like that guy: I was very scared in there… I want to kick some rabbit back! Why don’t we have any rabbit so I could bite his ears? I got to go to steal Worf’s food.”

Tough decision: should we or should we not let them participating in this blog?


Spock's tales

Spock about Worf and Data

My turn today! Sorry for yesterday, but I was very tired after supervising the works and coordinating with Kirk the moving in. I mean it’s not an easy job to make sure all the wire panels are well connected and that we have the required facilities for hay and water. Also interior design takes time…

Anyway, back to our subject: my opinion about Worf and Data, now that we finally met. First of all, I must say I never asked for new companions, but now that they are here we need to integrate them in the gang. So I decided not to fight them in any way, although Data tried to get me and even chattered his teeth to make me understand he’s the boss. Young boars! We should let them think well about themselves. Been there, done that… I never thought I would see a crazier pig than I. But definitely Data is! Maybe it’s because of his recently discovered otitis, or maybe because he lived for months in a pet shop with some rabbits, but this is for Kirk to figure it out… I wonder if he will ever manage to stay still and write at least 100 words for this blog.

Worf is another story. He developed a fungus caused by stress. I suppose it’s because he is an introverted pig and keeps all his thought inside. He also seems very curious and not afraid to ask for pellets and even eat them from the humans’ hands. I like his white back and I was even thinking to propose them a picture with our three white backs as a foreground. Although he looks thinner than Data, he really is heavier. But his shape is the one of a small zucchini, like mine.

Now we are living all together and I’m trying to make an example for Data, from one white piggy to another.  I think I’ll let Worf for Kirk because they seem to tolerate each other. But with Data won’t be an easy job… As I write, he is noisily chewing the coroplast. I should explain him that even if he chews it all, there are still few wire panels between us. Oh, my! I need to go and stop him! But not before showing you a photo with him trying to get in to my old cage…