Weird things involving the poop

guinea_pigs_tales_worf_profileWe’ve told you before our people are crazy. And strange… And now I believe even stronger in this statement because lately the human female is very attentive to our poop. Mine and Data’s, not Spock’s and Kirk’s which seem to satisfy her curiosity.

For few weeks now she believes my poop is lose. But not lose enough to get us to the vet. This I don’t get: if we don’t need to go to the vet, then why worrying? Anyway, she decided to help my digestion and gave me Actimel. And I became addicted… But, after stopping the treatment, my poop was once again a little bit lose, enough to make her go crazy again.

Me being happy, active and normal was of no importance to her and her mined kept turning and analysing why my poop is not as she wanted it. Finally, she decided that I don’t eat enough hay. This was true. I am not very passionate about it. Or at least not about the one she used to give me. Something triggered a brilliant idea in her brain and made her understand I did not like that kind of hay, but I liked another one.

So, on Monday the human male was rushed to the supermarket to buy another brand of hay for me and only for me. Now I consume a little bit more hay and my poop is satisfying for her. Still not perfect, but she seems less stressed.

Then, she had some issues with Data’s poop also: she thought is too small. Again, it doesn’t matter that he is healthy in general and that he poops normal quantities for a piggy (a lot!!!), but the fact that his poop is smaller than of the rest of us. After days and days of reflections, she decided it was time to check Data’s butt. So she tortured him a little, not managing to get to any valid conclusion. Just to make Data afraid, and this convinced him to poop larger poops…

Now, I am asking you: have you ever seen a human that interested in the poop of another human?! It is embarrassing to have your poop checked and analysed, but she doesn’t seem to care. I swear I need to have a serious conversation with her about this…

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