Small piggy, huge personality

guinea_pigs_tales_spock_profileThey say I’m crazy. My servants stated several times that I’m a little out of orbit and I tend to agree. And I am also very proud of it. 😀

I know I’m just 1.2 kilos, but my personality is larger than life. I always speak up my mind and do only what I want. True, sometimes I’m forced to do things that I don’t enjoy, but I always revenge. Kirk tried to fix me whit his psychoanalyse, but I decided I liked too much my personality to change it.

It all started when I was a little boy and I wanted more space and more food. Kirk eats a lot and he is also slightly bigger, so I was aware I had to do something. I started bullying him up to the point where the human female understood we needed to be separated. But still we had play dates in the house. And one day Kirk tried to steal more celery from the kitchen than I. So I fought him and put my teeth into his perfect fur.

Next step was to take over the couch. I had to come up with a lot of clever plans to convince the humans to use it less so I could be able to get out whenever I wished. But in the end it was easy: after I chewed the headset, they got it and gave me full access to the couch, including during the nights. Of course I’m not that crazy to get out at 2 o’clock in the morning, but still…

Then when Worf and Data arrived, my whole life turned upside down. My home changed, I lost access to the couch… So I played the epileptic guy and it worked. After few days of being upset and showing it with every occasion, the access to the couch was once again in my power. Now I’ve made it a point to go in the middle of the couch at least once per week and spend there some time pretending to meditate. Of course no human dares to disturb me.

Last time when they’ve tried to clip my nails (I hate being restrained for more than 30 seconds), I bit the ear of my human male servant. Unfortunately it didn’t work because my nails were still clipped… They don’t get that I would like to polish them with some purple nail polish.

The same applies for cuddles. I don’t know why the humans have the impression they could cuddle me whenever they want. It’s the other way around: they are allowed to cuddle me when I’m in the mood for it. So, I thought the human female that she can rub my head in some very specific moments when I’m sitting on top of my wooden house. If I want more, I’ll get on the couch and climb on her lap, but she shouldn’t take me out by herself. She was pretty easy to train…

And I could go on like this for pages. But I won’t. Instead I’ll show you a portrait of mine with some veggies. And don’t forget: train your servant well!

spock_veggies

Piggy on diet

I think it’s already clear for everyone that I’m the photogenic one in The Gang. My fur colour matches very well my eyes and looks good on any fleece / bedding pattern. So I always look good in pictures…

Just look at these amazing photos! I am awesome even behind some grids.

kirk_expressive

But after this morning weight control session the human female decided I should be on diet. Just because my weight got above 1.40 kilo! I really don’t get it: I am a healthy piggy and she saw that even when I passed 1.35 kilo nothing bad happened. So, I really don’t get her concerns. I love to eat and vegies & pellets are the most amazing things in the world…

Now I’m thinking of ways to put pressure on her and change her decision of limiting my pellets to two spoons per day instead of four. This is no life for an icon piggy! First she took out the cereals from my diet, now she reduced the pellets. I wonder what’s next?! Chasing me around the house and make me exercise?! I will stop posing for her and I should take back my permission to use the photos all over Internet!

Please excuse me, but I’m going in to my wood house to plot against humans.

Me and my lice

guinea_pigs_tales_Data_profileWorf already informed you about our issue with some lice. The funny part in all this was the humans, like always. I mean they are so agitated sometimes that I get tired only watching them.

When they heard we had lice, they decided to clean the whole house just to make sure no insect was left alive on the floors or other spots where we could go and pick them again. So, on Saturday afternoon we had to take our siesta in some vacuum cleaner noises. And we were forced to spend some time in the house while our rooms were thoroughly cleaned… The humans turned everything upside down and I even saw the human male handling the vacuum cleaner, which is something very unusual.

When the cages were cleaned, we’ve got our dose of Stronghold and I felt my lice running around very confused. I’ve kinda felt sorry for them. I mean we were building a strong relationship there, where they were feeding on my blood and I was tolerating them… And as they were trying to get away from the medicine, they went to my butt and I ended up with an almost black belt surrounding my…manhood. After some agony, a lot of them died. Sad, I know! But I must admit my ears feel better and I stopped being bothered with some itchy episodes.

As I don’t have any photos with me and my lice (the human female did a crappy job…), I will show you how awesome I was looking while enjoying some hay in a paper bag. 😀

data_bagP.S. The most joyful part was to see Kirk and Spock benefiting from the same treatment. After all, why should we suffer alone?!