Monthly Archives: August 2014

Overprotective?!

Few days ago, our mean human posted some photos with me on Facebook and some other mean humans commented and made fun of my habits. Just to make it clear, we are talking about this two photos.

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She suggested that I’m piling up the food because I’m afraid somebody will steal it. Now, I just want to clarify some aspects! First, yes, it is true, I have the feeling that somebody may pick my food while I sleep, but I don’t think that someone will be one of “my boys”. Maybe Worf because he really cleans everything, but he loves me also and wouldn’t prejudice me. On the other hand, the way the humans are looking at my veggies scares me to hell. It’s like my veggies are tastier than what they have in the kitchen. So, yes, I’m afraid the humans will steal my food!

Next, I pile up my food close to me because I like comfort. It’s much easier to eat when the food is right under your nose than to wake up, get out of the wood house, search for the food and only then start chewing it. You should try it! You don’t even have to open your eyes. Just put the food in your mouth and eat. This is also the reason why we, the guinea Pigs, pee and poop where we sleep.

And not the last, sleeping on a pillow may be fun. Humans do this all the time, why wouldn’t I?!

 

We moved!

guinea_pigs_tales_Data_profileThe past three days were very difficult for us: we moved in a new house and the stress was at a high level! But let’s start with the beginning…

Our humans will produce soon another Guinea Pig’s slave. As they are not so adapted as we are, the tiny new human would need special care and attention for like the next 20 years. We can only hope it will turn in to a very good servant for our kind. Although for the moment we have no use for he or she, we are already seeing the consequences of his/her presumptive birth. First thing, the humans decided to move in a bigger place. And, as they are good piggies servants, they searched for an apartment with a garden. We haven’t seen it yet because is rainy and cold in Belgium and we are some spoiled VIPs, but apparently is there.

So, last weekend was the big one! Friday was a day off in our country and it was chosen for our move. Of course we benefited of a special treatment and our official transporter helped relocating our pens and all our effects. Still not everything was nice and easy… We had to spend around 3 hours in the small transport boxes during the dismantling of our penthouse, the actual move, the thorough cleaning of the pens and the reconstruction. And this was horrible! The humans found Kirk very scared in his box.

Finally, we were put in a temporary position to be protected during the real move (humans have a lot of stuff!). But the empty house and the echo of every move got us even more scared. We were running away even when the human female was approaching. She had the decency to spend the night with us, so she could clean and fed us in the evening and the next morning.

On Saturday some human friends helped moving the whole bunch of furniture, boxes and large bags. We were covered with a large blanket, but still all that noise frightened us. Now, I don’t want you to think we are some scared little things, but having huge humans turning furniture on top of one’s had can be scary! Finally, in the evening we were put in our definitive position. And the human did as promised: lined our rooms putting some space between Kirk and Worf. The biggest challenge was to arrange the couch so Spock could get out on it whenever he feels like…

I don’t show my face in the picture because I was preparing this article and supervising the human for taking the photo (still, she did a lousy job!). 🙂

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When would I be famous…

guinea_pigs_tales_profile_kirkOh, my! Six days have passed since our last post! This is unbelievable… To make up for this, I will teach you how to become famous. Yeah, I’ll talk a lot about me, but I am a star already and I’m allowed.

First of all, you need some dedicated humans around you. It will take some time to train them well and make them see how handsome or beautiful you are. For them the standards are different (no fur, skinny look etc.), so making them understand what is really nice – big furry but, whiskers… – takes time. Also you need to teach them how to prim a future furry star: what kind of veggies are good for the fur, the best shampoo to be used and so forth.

Then you must identify PR opportunities – websites, contests and a lot of other options that can make you famous. But for this you need a dedicated pal, the type that has the network or the skills to build one in order to promote you. As you can’t intrust a total stranger to this task, I strongly recommend to become part of gang. This means accepting other Guinea Pigs in your house, but it’s totally worth it. I have Data for this and I am happy with him. OK, not happy sensing his scent on my human, but happy with the outcome of his activity. He managed to make us visible on Facebook and to put me in some nice contests.

But let me tell you about the competitions in which I participated… Please bear in mind that you will not win each and every one. Not even I managed this kind of performance, and we all know I am handsome and lovable. Our first attempt was on a French forum dedicated to Guinea Pigs. In September 2013, I convinced the human it was high time to present me in a competition. I was very nervous, I supervised the creation of my poster and checked the forum every day to see the evolution of votes. After 10 days of incredible emotions, I was declared the winner. I was so happy that I even popcorned several times, although my beautiful big but didn’t allow a considerable height.

In 2014 I launched myself on Facebook also. First contest was a little bit of a disappointment because our human doesn’t have so many “friends” and we were not able to gather enough likes to put me on the first place. But I finished the third and it was also fine. The second one was a true fiasco… I finished also the third and got no chance to see my beautiful face as a wallpaper on a famous group for Guinea Pigs. As my sadness deepened, The Gang and the humans decided to campaign more for the next attempt. And, yes! The third one was the lucky one: my lips and whiskers got me the first place and the promise that I will feature in a calendar at the end of the year. I look forward to see my face on the wall.

So, to conclude: get a trained human, get a PR specialist (preferably a Guinea Pig!), learn how to overpass the failures (you need a support team to constantly remind you how beautiful you are) and rule the world.

A kiss for all of you!

kirk_winner