Little piggy, huge personality

guinea_pigs_tales_spock_profileAt least this is what she keeps telling about me! And I really don’t see why she is so amazed by this. I mean, she has an equally proportional personality. I eat nicely my veggies, she has tastes and preferences. I go out only when she thinks it’s OK, she goes out all the time… So, I do have a personality that matches just fine my 1.2 kilos, but it’s not that huge. She has an enormous one compared with mine.

Anyhow, if we are talking about my personality, I might just tell you about my latest mischiefs. On Friday evening the humans had guests. They fried some meat on a bbq (what a barbarian habit), ate a lot of garlic and drank alcohol. By the way, one of them was Peruvian and we were really afraid he may confound us with food. So, all this people, her colleagues, to be more specific, arrived around 20:00 and at 1:00 next day were still in our home. And not in the bedroom, the room of our humans, but in the living room area listening to loud music and talking about a lot of nonsense. We couldn’t sleep…

At some point, her boss was sitting on the couch. I was so offended about their insensitiveness that I got out, climbed his lap, gave him the stink eye and went back with a very dignified attitude. I think he got the message because in half an hour they were gone. By the way, her boss is a nice guy, just that he doesn’t really understand why humans should have furry superior creatures in the house.

Saturday at noon everything restarted. This time with a lot of Romanians, their friends. Not that her colleagues are not her friends, just not all of them. And this time we were not afraid to get eaten, but we were scared sh** about being abused: apparently some of her friends think we are cute and they just want to take us and caress us. Which is fine up to a point, but they were more than 10. Anyway, I am always the luckiest: I run fast! So they don’t really get to put their hands on me.

One of the guests brought also a present for the baby-to-be-born. Our humans don’t really believe in not having things for the baby before the birth. But they couldn’t either keep their mouth shut before passing the first three months of pregnancy… Oh, I was talking about the present! Yeah, the baby got a cap, a body and a bib with very impressive messages. And I got the chance to check it first! I really took a good look and now we are debating if it’s suitable for the future biped.

spock_baby

I don’t think I have such a difficult personality, after all… Yes, I’m impressive, but this is an amazing thing.

What she thinks about us

guinea_pigs_tales_Data_profileThe other day we were just hanging around the laptop when I’ve decided to search a little bit trough her files. I mean trough the human female files… Just to keep an eye on her and to make sure she is not putting us on the market or something. One could never trust completely these humans! And, to my great surprise, I found some private notes about us. I thought Kirk is the shrink in the family, but she thinks she has a better opinion about that. So, look what she thinks about us.

Kirk: rotten spoiled, jealous and a real prima donna. He likes being in the center of attention. If he’s not, he will do everything in his power to be. Cute, almost handsome, and he knows it. So he does everything to let the other know about this. Neurotic, I may say…

Spock: crazy by definition! Self-sufficient. Tolerates human touch only in his conditions and only if he’s in the mood for it. Very independent. I suspect he’s the only one who could survive without human support. Has no fears. Or maybe has no gene to sense it…

Data: sweet. I think this is the word for him. For sure not dominant, but he likes company and to be caressed. He likes food and to sleep in his wood house. The rest is just a bonus. I think he has nine lives, like a cat. One may have been lost in the pet shop, one when a chair fell on him. Still seven to go…

Worf: skittish. Food addicted, especially pellets. So help us all gods if we skip the hour for pellets. A Callas concert is nothing compared with the sounds he can produce. I suspect he is also a little emo. We really avoid upsetting him from fear that we may bring a suicidal impulse.

Now, not that she is not wright (I am sweet!), just that she should not write assessments like this on his computer. It can go on the Internet and ruin our reputation. So, I’ve decided to put them myself on line as a good social media manager that I am. I just hope Worf won’t cut his veins on long with a sheet of paper. That would be messy!

I’m going to plot some revenge. Maybe a virus for her computer. The one that only me can overpass.

Elasticity and flexibility

I don’t get why humans reduce our life to “eat, poop, sleep, repeat”. We do much more than this, just that we do it while they are no around so they can’t fuss over it. Also, they are out gaining a living for us and don’t have the time to watch us all day long. I’ve heard about crazy humans that are trying to record 24/7 the life of their Guinea Pigs with live cams, but I’d also noticed that the subjects have a talent for finding dead angles where to do the interesting things.

Now, coming back to me because I am the gorgeous V.I.P. here… One of my favourite activities is to stretch myself in order to keep my muscles trained. The human female pays money to go to some Pilates classes and she has no idea there are four highly skilled trainers in her own house. But, after all, it’s better that she goes somewhere else because, if not, she may bring her friends to take classes with us and we would need to be on a tight schedule and I really dislike having a very structured daily program.

So, usually I do my exercises on rounds. I have days when I like turning in to a ball. My goal is to look as much as possible as a fur ball or to contract myself in a very cute pose. Like this, for example.

kirk_furball kirk_nesting

Nesting like a hen in the hay helps a lot for this pose. I know some humans made fun of me on FB thinking that I pretend to be a hen, but revenge shall be mine.

Then I have days when stretching is the word of the day and I try to be as long as possible. The walls of my room help a lot for this and are awesome to exercise on.

kirk_long

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go sleep curled up. Just to change the pose for the day.