This is the human writing. A sad, restless human.
I was taking a shower this evening and started crying. It’s becoming a habit since Worf died last Thursday morning. Probably because it’s the only moment when I am somehow alone and no one would ask me what’s wrong.
This time is different. This time I cry, sob and silent scream. Because I finally manage to name what bothers me a lot.
I feel like I failed him. I am so so sorry that I failed him.
I deeply regret everything that happened, starting with his pododermatitis and the need to take him out three times per week for the laser therapy. And continuing with his pneumonia and our bad management of the situation.
He was our responsibility and we failed him.
Another very profound regret is that on Wednesday when I left him in the veterinary clinic, all small, looking bad and scared, I failed to hug him and tell him I loved him. I just hope he knew it.
I write all this while crying in my bed with my daughter in my arms and my son sleeping aside me. And the feeling that I failed Worf is so strong that I barely can breathe anymore.
I f@#£_& failed him! It’s all I can think about.
He is no longer here because us, the humans, the adults, took some bad decisions and failed him.
I failed him and I am so very sorry. I miss him and I must learn to live with this.
P.S. I really hope we’ve learned our lesson.
P.S. 2 If you ever feel that your veterinarian is not doing everything and you should ask for a second opinion, don’t hesitate. Ever!
2 thoughts on “10 days after…”
xo I’m so sorry to hear about Worf passing away. I love guinea pigs too. The last little guy I had was very sick and needed a lot of care so we were very close. I have no guinea pigs at the moment but they are truly wonderful, brave, characterful little guys xo I have followed your blog for a while – I used to read it to my own guinea pigs! and I think you sound like a really dedicated and caring guinea pig mama. It sounds to me like you did everything in your power to care for Worf, be kind to yourself – I think you’re grieving for a very special little light xo thinking of you, Em
I’m so sorry to hear about Worf passing away 😥 Freya also passed away a few weeks ago and I can really relate to your feeling that you failed your baby piggy 😦 It hurts seeing a beloved pet suffer, but I’m sure he knows that you love him so much because you’ve taken such good care of him throughout his life ❤