Too hot and too much light!

We live in Belgium, a country where it rains a lot. But a lot! The winter here is just a longer fall. Actually, the whole year looks like an incredible long rainy season. Or at least this is what we heard from other furry creatures in the pet shop…

Until now we can honestly say that a winter as warm as a fall is no problem for us. Yeah, the humans which need to go out to buy vegies for us may have a problem, but we advise them to take an umbrella or a jacket with a hood. And, after all, they are not as fragile we are, so some rain won’t damage them irreparably.

But… With the spring & summer being as a fall, we really have an issue. Not because it was, but because it wasn’t! And we are living in an apartment where our official territory (the living room) faces south, so imagine that. Last year, in our first year of life on this Earth, we had to face 28° C and a lot of light coming through the windows. I have beautiful red eyes, but they kind of tend to hide when strong light is chasing them. So, I wheeked several times, the human female finally understood and bought curtains.  (As there is not much light usually, they were not needed…)

Than the heat knocked us out. The human female was not really understanding our signals and she kept putting the wood houses back in there “normal” position for two days or so. But, finally, after a small warning bite, she understood that we are trying to redecorate and to cool down a spot. Maybe for her 30° C in the room was a blessing, but not for us! So, after we tried several times without success to undress our furs (it is not possible, apparently, like in the case of humans), we decided to make a space protected by light and to remove also the sawdust from there. Of course, after the heat passed, we put everything in the right place.

Just check how good interior designers we are. 😀

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This week-end it was summer all over again. We are not complaining, but we need to meet up and decide the measures to be taken if this continues. Anyhow, we’ll keep you posted.

Kiss you all,

Spock

P.S. I’ve got to run now! Run, Forest Spock, run!

Why humans need jobs and Guinea Pigs don’t

I don’t know how many of you are aware, but humans live in a world where they trade things for money. In my opinion, they could all trade something else (except Guinea Pigs, of course!) for what they need. I mean, our human female may trade her red dress for our vegies for one week… But, apparently, she prefers to have a job, keep her red dress and buy us vegies.

Our main human leaves the house in the morning and comes back in the evening when she starts telling the other human how she managed to rule other people. She calls herself an Office Manager and she is very proud when she gets to convince several other bipeds to do what she suggests. And she gets paid for this.

I find this very strange: we manage to rule with no problem at all the three humans from our house. We can convince a human to obey our desires with no effort, to bring us food and caress us. Does it mean that we are Humans Managers?! Or maybe House Managers… But this is not a job for us, is just the way we are and do things. And this makes me think that humans are useless and hopeless without a Guinea Pig to govern their lifes.

Anyway, don’t forget that in this strange world we need the humans to get paid in money so they could buy us food and other fancy stuffs (blankets, sawdust, bigger wood houses etc.). To be honest with you, my furry friend, I don’t see myself going shopping or getting a job – my white satin fur would be destryed! I mean it’s enough effort for me to go out on the couch and chew the cords (yesterday I’ve missed a laptop cord! 😦 )And I enjoy just sleeping and pretending to be very tired because of the harsh life I’m living… So, encourage your human to have a job!

Even more, imagine you would have your human around 24/7. That would be a tough job: you should keep a close eye on the biped; you couldn’t just roam in the house or eat in peace… The two days from the week-end are giving us enough work to justify the restfulness we need the rest of the week. It’s hard enough we need to munch on the hay and a lot of vegetables, but supervising and ruling the bipeds add extra work.

Just look at me how tired I am… Or at least I look…

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About how and why we can’t live together

“Kirk, come here! I’ll start writing and I could use some help.”

“Whaaaat?! Are you kidding me? Do you remember that we can’t share the same space?”

“No, you… big butt! I wasn’t inviting on the couch, just closer, so I could transcribe what you say.”

“I do not trust you! You will never reproduce exactly what I say…”

“Oh, you could check when it’s your turn to use the laptop.”

“OK, Spock, tell me what for you need my help. But fast because I want to go back to sleep. I can’t keep my beautiful 1.340 kilo in perfect shape if I don’t sleep enough!”

“My beloved Kirk, as much as I would love to try my teeth on you right now, this is not the reason of my request.

“You left yesterday on me the task of completing the story about why we can’t stay together. And I don’t want to write it all by myself because I’m pretty sure you would have some remarks.”

“Spock, you are incredible! In the middle of the night you are trying to write something that serious?! You know what? Just start, read aloud what you are writing, and I’ll interfere if necessary.”

“Oh, you lazy 1.340 furry thing! I’ll do it…

“Dear readers, it is up to me, Spock, to finish the story started yesterday by Kirk. Everything begins with the fact that the pet shops employees only want to sell and they don’t care about us… This is how our human female ended up with two male Guinea Pigs in her house, although it is known we fight for territory and supremacy most of the times, so living together might look like a very nasty episode from Gray’s Anatomy, the Guinea Pig’s version. At the beginning she hoped it will work and we also tried, but at some point it became impossible.

“Spock, since when you are so full of lyricism? Are you OK? Have you eaten something bad?”

“Kirk let me write! I’m in the mood for staying still for more than 30 seconds.

“So, dear readers, we managed to share the same small cage for about a month. Until one evening when, Kirk decided it’s time to dispute, so I ran away… The human female saw immediately (very vigilant biped!) and opened the cage for me so I could spend the night in the house. She even prepared me a box with hay close to the cage thinking that we may manage the situation that way.

“But after few days it was obvious we won’t be able. We do not hide our territorial needs and the urge for disputing the alpha position, as the human males are doing, so it was inevitable for the real fight to start. When she saw that the situation was becoming dangerous for our furs, she bought a bigger cage.”

“Spock, am falling asleep… zzzzzzzz! Please, go allegro: our readers will leave the page before reaching the end!”

“Kirk, it’s my time to write. You are only an invited participant.

“When she showed up at home with the new cage, we both secretly hoped it was only for one of us. But no… We had to share that one also. After a while, a wood house appeared. I was occupying the upper floor and Kirk and his big butt the lower one. Soon he was not pleased anymore and he wanted it for him. We had a fight one evening and I bit the human female while she was trying to separate us. To be honest, I thought it was Kirk, so I put my teeth in her hand very deep. But she survived, don’t worry!”

“Oh, my! You really wanted to harm me since we were young! Oh, my!”

“Of course. Do you remember the quote “there can be only one”?!

“Sorry for the interruption. Next step was to divide our large cage in two equal parts. That wasn’t very comfortable, especially for Kirk. His butt was growing and growing and he got to turn around the tail he doesn’t have due to the lack of space.

“In the meanwhile, in the house we were still going out together. Until one day when we fought over a piece of celery. I won; Kirk got bitten and visited the vet. And since then we get to walk in the house only in separate rooms. It’s OK, but it was more fun before…”

“Then you should have not attacked me! And please make it shorter, I can’t sleep if you continue speaking and typing.”

“Kirk you are right – I’m also falling asleep. Maybe I should present the conclusion.

“And the conclusion is that at the beginning of July 2013 we’ve got a second big cage. And instead of moving the furniture in the house to fit the new desk of the human male, she rearranged everything in a way it would allow her to put our rooms one next to the other. Awesome moment! The human male was shocked, almost threatened with a divorce. So, all the time, even when we walk in the house, there is a grid separating us.”

“Spock, are you going to say it or should I?”

“What Kirk? I think I’m done… Although I have the impression I’ve missed something…”

“Oh, I’ll say it, just stop pretending. The truth is that he still tries to bite me through the grids; he even gets some of my fur sometimes. But every time we lose sight of each other, we start wheeking and shouting until we find ourselves. And sometimes we like to sleep very close to our grids so we can touch each other. “

“Kirk, this is so soppy! Stop it!”

“But it’s the truth…”

“Yeah, OK… Let’s go to sleep, it is 5 am!”

“OK, sweet dreams!”

(Zzzzzzzz)

“Spock, I hope you transcribed everything I sad correct.”

“Hay?! Anybody said hay?!

“Oh, just go back to sleep. I’ll check by myself.”

(Zzzzzzzzzzzz)

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