Spock's tales

One boar, two boars… more boars

spock_profile_2First of all we are talking about Guinea Pigs boars. Second, you need to understand that we are all different in terms of personality, exactly like humans. You wouldn’t find two of us with the same preferences. So, exactly like you, humans, we do or do not get along. True, boars are more prone to pick a fight due to some territorial issues, but also men are more prone to go to war. 😀

What can you do if you have more than one boar and you want to keep them together?! First you need to understand that “fixing” us won’t help, so don’t put us through this procedure unless you want us paired with a female. Next, if we all grow up together and have enough space from the beginning, you may even not need to interfere. And when I say enough space I don’t mean a 1 x 0.6 m cage for two or more boars. I know this is what they usually sell in pet shops as rabbit cage, but trust me when I say it is too small for us. So, be prepared with space and for some handy work because you may even need to build us a spacious enough cage.

But let me explain you with our own example. When I and Kirk arrived into our humans’ house, we were brought in a very small cage. And I mean really small, that we gave it away for a hamster after all. The guys in the pet shop said it was more than enough for us, but they knew nothing.


So, after a month or so, we picket our first fight and the human ran to the shop and bought us a bigger cage, the one of 1 x 0.6 m. She should have asked before…

cage2Of course we were fine for few weeks, but then we’ve started again. And the end was that we were separated, each with our own 1 x 0.6 m cage. They were one next to each other and we could communicate easily.


Next, Worf and Data showed up in our lives. The humans hopped at least them would get along, but was not the case. Data was bulling Worf, who seemed like the shyest one. As Worf had a tendency to develop a fungal infection as a reaction to stress, the humans decided to separate them also. So, we all ended up in our own C&C of 2×2 (0.7×0.7 m). Not much, but we are four…


In August last year the humans moved in a bigger apartment where there was some space with few furniture pieces – the dinning and the kitchen. And the hf decided it was time to try and see if we were out of our puberty faze and maybe more willing to share rooms.

After few trials it became obvious I got along just fine with Data, so starting September we are sharing a 2×4 C&C (1.4 x 0.7m). We still haven’t figured it out who’s the dominant one: even if I growl all the time, he takes over the tunnel… But I can’t stand to have him out of my sight and if the humans pick him up, he struggles to come back. So, after all, I think we are in to something.


Since Monday Kirk and Worf are also sharing a room, a C&C of 2×5 (1.75 x 0.7 m). Although they are not as excited about this as we were (we were sleeping next to each other from the first moment), they seem fine. Just that the weird thing is that Worf seems to be the one that makes the rules. I say this is weird because Kirk has more than 200g in front of Worf and a “drama queen” personality. And he is also 1 year older…


The humans are hoping that in some months, one year, we will all be able to live together in a big 2×9 C&C. I am sceptical as I know very well that I and Kirk can’t see eye to eye.


  • Piggies have different personalities, so matching us can be as difficult as matching people.
  • Give us enough space and it may work.
  • Give us food to distract in the first days, until we get used of having somebody else in the same cage.
  • Unless we are really fighting and biting each other, don’t interfere. We need to prove and settle who the dominant is. But if you see signs of real aggressiveness, do not hesitate to separate us.
  • Sometimes we may go crazy and change a little the personalities while passing trough puberty. Maybe you should give us a break during our teenager faze and restart bonding after we get over it. 🙂
Spock's tales

Christmas gifts

guinea_pigs_tales_spock_profileIn this period of the year the majority of humans around us seems super busy with something they call Christmas celebration. Still, our hf looked chilled and not being too much into this. Now, to be honest with you, we don’t really get this religious stuff, but we definitely got the part that involves presents. And we looked forward to seeing what we would get…

We were expecting something like small treats or a day in the house or some fresh grass. But the hf had some crazy ideas regarding the enlargement of Kirk’s and Worf’s rooms because she noticed that the first one had not enough space for running like crazy and racing. So, on the 23rd of December, when any normal Christian human was chasing gifts for other humans, our hf was calling all the special printing shops in town to check for some coroplast sheets. Finally she found them and went to pick them up.

Initially she planned on doing the works next week while she would be on vacation. But she realized the hm won’t be around and her big belly is an obstacle. So on Tuesday evening the hm was forced to help in building bigger rooms for Kirk and Worf. I suppose he had other plans, but the look on her face suggested that resistance was futile. The house was turned upside down, Kirk and Worf got floor time and the humans started folding and cutting coroplast. I must admit the hf already has experience with this and everything went fast.

For us there was no big change just that our pen moved closer to the wall. With us inside! Not super funny, but we survived. Regarding Kirk and Worf, do not imagine the humans doubled the size of their rooms, but let’s just say that Kirk has a little bit more space for his big, fluffy bum.


On the other hand, Worf looks even smaller in his bigger room.


I and Data thought we will not get anything, but we were fine with the idea. I mean, from time to time, one must sacrifice for the others. The hf thought of building a top floor for us, but then she realized it will be more difficult to clean, especially that now she has a big belly and soon she will also have a bipod pooping machine around. As I said, we totally understand. We already have a big room and plenty of space for running around and popcorning.

But a nice surprise was in line for us also and on Thursday morning, after the hf did some adjustments to our improved penthouse: we received a basket with treats! To be honest, we don’t really like processed food, but the willow basket is very tasty.

data_spock_basketWe hope you also received nice gifts in this period. 🙂


Kirk's tales

Rumour has it…

guinea_pigs_tales_profile_kirkFirst of all, we are kind of sick of the long names we have to write when we refer to our humans. So Data proposed to use abbreviations. Or acronyms… As of today the human female will be hf and the human male will be hm. No capital letters needed as we haven’t decided yet if they deserve the or not.

Now, going back to our business for today, rumour has it that the hf has some crazy ideas regarding our penthouse. Apparently she is out of ideas concerning the decorations of their environment and considers doing something to our rooms. I just hope she won’t ruin what we already have because she has a great talent to this. Ruining, not building!

So, she was talking with the hm yesterday evening and told him she thinks of adding a kind of top floor to Spock & Data’s huge room and enlarging my own room. She is not very convinced with the top floor, but my room has, for sure, to get bigger as my but is the biggest one in the gang and I need more space to be able to appropriately display my beautiful bum.

But everything depends on finding the coroplast. Last time she bought it from a special shop and now she is trying to find out if those humans open their shop in this period of the year. The hf has a quiet period at work and she could go and get the coroplast. More, she has one week of vacation and she could spend that time doing the works. Is just that the hm will be out of country and I am afraid she can’t really handle the task. But let’s hope she won’t tear apart the current settings before making sure the new one is working.

Also, a lot depends on how well she will manage to fit in some puppy pads in our bedding set up. I’ve heard she ordered some in order to place them in the spots where we pee most and, instead of changing the whole bedding every two days, to change only those pads often. We’ll see and we’ll keep you posted.

As you can see, we are super busy supervising all this and making sure nothing goes wrong… Look, this is me being super busy!


Data's tales

We moved!

guinea_pigs_tales_Data_profileThe past three days were very difficult for us: we moved in a new house and the stress was at a high level! But let’s start with the beginning…

Our humans will produce soon another Guinea Pig’s slave. As they are not so adapted as we are, the tiny new human would need special care and attention for like the next 20 years. We can only hope it will turn in to a very good servant for our kind. Although for the moment we have no use for he or she, we are already seeing the consequences of his/her presumptive birth. First thing, the humans decided to move in a bigger place. And, as they are good piggies servants, they searched for an apartment with a garden. We haven’t seen it yet because is rainy and cold in Belgium and we are some spoiled VIPs, but apparently is there.

So, last weekend was the big one! Friday was a day off in our country and it was chosen for our move. Of course we benefited of a special treatment and our official transporter helped relocating our pens and all our effects. Still not everything was nice and easy… We had to spend around 3 hours in the small transport boxes during the dismantling of our penthouse, the actual move, the thorough cleaning of the pens and the reconstruction. And this was horrible! The humans found Kirk very scared in his box.

Finally, we were put in a temporary position to be protected during the real move (humans have a lot of stuff!). But the empty house and the echo of every move got us even more scared. We were running away even when the human female was approaching. She had the decency to spend the night with us, so she could clean and fed us in the evening and the next morning.

On Saturday some human friends helped moving the whole bunch of furniture, boxes and large bags. We were covered with a large blanket, but still all that noise frightened us. Now, I don’t want you to think we are some scared little things, but having huge humans turning furniture on top of one’s had can be scary! Finally, in the evening we were put in our definitive position. And the human did as promised: lined our rooms putting some space between Kirk and Worf. The biggest challenge was to arrange the couch so Spock could get out on it whenever he feels like…

I don’t show my face in the picture because I was preparing this article and supervising the human for taking the photo (still, she did a lousy job!). 🙂



Spock's tales


guinea_pigs_tales_spock_profileFirst of all, I apologise for our prolonged absence. We were brainstorming over this blog and our future as international stars. And this takes time. Plus, Kirk worked a little with me to see the hidden reasons behind my epilepsy seizure. But let’s take it point by point…

Kirk thinks my epilepsy seizure was due to stress: new piggies in the gang, moving in different rooms, losing the access to the couch etc. So, he proposed a plan on how to manipulate our humans to address these issues. Playing upset was the first step and it worked perfectly fine. The human female can’t stand seeing us sad or unhappy, so she is very willing to give up space, money and other resources to please us. It is awesome to have a servant this dedicated!

One day I saw her taking the pliers and starting to cut a grill. She made a square hole and then started to cover the margins in some cloth and tape so I wouldn’t hurt myself when going out. It took her about one hour to prepare everything… But it’s done and now I have again straight access to the couch, paper, invoices etc. True, I’m not yet taking full advantage of the situation, but it will come. And I gave up of my upset face. I even allow again the human female to pick me from the top of my wood house, to pet me on the couch and then to chase me. Fun!

Next, I convinced her that sometimes I need a curtain. My own curtain, not the ones already installed in the house. I am the only one with truly red eyes, so almost no pigment, and strong light bothers me. So, a cloth is at my disposal to be arranged on my room in order to allow me to fully explore and use the space with my eyes wide open.

Actually, this is how it looks like:


Another victory over the humans is the fact they bought a tripod for the camera. We believe we could be really successful in the showbiz industry, but for this we need to have the possibility to show how good we are. So good quality pictures and short movies in full HD are a must! Now that we have the tripod, we can film ourselves and show to the world what a lavish life a Guinea Pig star should have. By the way, our first project was to prove how loud we can be, but we were a little bit intimidated by the camera so not very noisy. Still working on it… Servants are here to support us!

Oh, and this morning Data took the time to create a YouTube channel for us and a Google+ page. He really enjoys this entire social media thing.

Now I’m going back for another brainstorming session to decide upon the next posts on the blog. And to figure it out how we can manipulate the human female to stop her “The Mentalist” marathon and give us more time with the laptop…

Kirk's opinions about humans, Kirk's tales

A new milestone

Our main human doesn’t spend too much time at home. Especially since we have two new members of the crew, she must work and study to make sure there is enough money in her accounts to pay for our vegies. Because Data and Worf are big eaters also, even I being amazed of how fast they switched on vegies and how much they can chew. But, this is not about how they eat around 300g of vegies each per day, but it’s about me and why I might be the next Napoleon Bonaparte of the world. Yeah, I’ll skip the “imprisonment on a small island” part, but I’ll still conquer the world. 😀

So, Spock already told you how busy our human female was on Monday evening. I was also utterly unhappy about being put aside for two hours, but I hope this mess will end at some point and I’ll get to train the new members of the gang. Anyway, I forgot why I was upset when the food landed in my cage: parsnips and carrot greens! I’m not very fond of the first one, but the carrot greens are very tasty and full in vitamin C. Eating took me a while and the human female must have been felt like sleeping already, so she came and started to pet me while I was chewing.

I’ve stopped for a second trying to decide if I should continue eating or stretching and spoiling myself. But it stuck me I could do both. So, I’ve “fluffied” my but in the sawdust and let her do her thing. I was wheeking with pleasure and chewing with the same amount of pleasure on the same time. And I realized I’m that close to Napoleon who could do three things on the same time… Exactly when I was being sorry for not finding a third stuff to do, I felt like pooping. And there I was: wheeking, pooping and eating on the same time. I’ve told you I’ll be the next Napoleaon!

By the way, this is my Napoleon pose: