Panic atack

guinea_pigs_tales_worf_profileNow, don’t you worry, we are all just fine. Maybe the humans’ hearts are a little bit weaker, but we are fine. But let me tell you what happened!

Sunday morning we had the usual session of weighting. Kirk had his normal almost 1.400 kilos; Spock a little bit less than 1.200 kilos, so nothing unusual. When she got to Data, the scale insisted on showing the same number as last week. The human female tapped it several times but no change. Then it came my turn. And then she really turned white. So white that Data looks dirty compared to her face… I lost 13 grams from my beautiful weight of 900 grams.

With her trembling hands, she put me back in my room, took the notebook and noted down our weights. She fed us and then she tried to compare what just happened with her previous experience with Kirk and Spock. After realizing that this occurred at least once with the two big boys, she was back to an almost normal breath.

Honestly, I don’t understand her. I mean we look healthy. I popcorn all the time and Data has his scurry outbursts very often. We eat normally and poop as we should. Why worrying that much? Anyhow, good that she got scared because now we’ve got the right to eat cereals. No sugar though, but still… And cereals are good!

So, now I’m also panicking: I need to gain weight or the crazy female will cram me with all the vegies you could imagine! By the way, do I look underfed?

worf + fleece


Spock about food and about the gourmand Kirk

Yesterday Kirk explained you about our menu and how we trained the human to serve well our needs. (I hope she hadn’t forgotten to buy fresh vegies today.) He explained pretty nice how and what we should eat, but I think she failed in admitting how gourmand he really is. 😀

Before talking about Kirk, I should make one thing clear: I also love food. It’s just that I don’t have the time to eat it all as I’m always on the run. I like to keep my body super fit because it’s easier to escape from humans’ hands. At some point the human male was calling me a zucchini because in his opinion I resemble one. Honestly, I don’t see the resemblance (except the hard muscular fibers) and I also ask myself if he is color blind: as far as I know a zucchini is green and I’m completely white. And a zucchini has no red eyes… By the way, if I’m a zucchini, Kirk is an eggplant. Of course, the larger part of the plant is his back side. 😀

Coming back to my culinary preferences, if I would have the choice, I would pick cereals bars over vegies. But, from empathy to Kirk and his big butt, I had to give them up: he was gaining weight from it and he had to stop taking them, so I thought of being supportive. I remember there was a time when he used to help himself from my bar. Thanks all gods I have some evidence… If not one may think I’m talking nonsense.


In line after the cereals, my favorite thing to eat is the hay. Of course I drag it all on the floor and try to sleep on it, but there is nothing funnier than digging for the best blade of dried grass. I really enjoy this. It also helps stretching the muscles.


Just that sometimes I don’t remember where I put the best piece. And Kirk keeps making fun of me that it’s right on top of my nose… I looked several times, but there was nothing!


OK, not very inspirational post today, but I’m already dreaming of the week-end…

I’ll help myself, thanks!

In the beginning, our human female used to feed us with a cereals mix also. But, at some point, she discovered some French website and forum about our kind and she stopped. Although she claims is because I was going over 1.300 kilos, I am pretty sure is because of all those French ideas about “good food”… I wonder if any Guinea Pig supervised the making of that site!

So, she red and red, she asked if my weight is normal, and after few days of debate she decided we will no longer receive cereals. This was actually a shock, as I always thought that I’m the boss in this house. Yeah, OK, I share my crown with Spock, but he is too busy running around so I’m the one giving orders.  When we realized is no joke, we really started to worry: what if she will start growing some weird vegetables and feed us only that?! How crazy can she go?

I even tried to play “the puppy eyes” with the human male because usually he feeds me over the line. I think he likes how I still the extruded mix from between his lips… But these time nothing! She must have trained him very well. I rolled my beautiful perfect shaped eyes hopping he will fall, but he was too afraid of what may happen if she sees I gained 1 gram.

But one day, being left in the living room, I realized where the goodies were. Oh, I forgot to tell you that right before the human female panicked I was getting obese she ordered a large stock of grain bars. 😀 So, they were somewhere in the house, waiting to be served from time to time at special occasions. I was just inspecting the grounds to see what Spock did while he was alone in there and when I got in to our storage room (which is actually an open space beneath our rooms), I saw the familiar boxes. I told myself “Oh, my! What a discovery!” and I wondered if there were only the empty packs or also some good stuff inside.

I waited for the perfect moment when the humans were not paying any attention to me, and I surrounded the boxes. There was definitely at least a bar inside. Yuuuupyyy! But there was also some cardboard between me and the bar. So, the required action was to chew this first. 😀 It was done quickly and I passed to the cereals. But my luck was not for long: she saw me and took a snapshot as a proof. Mischievous biped…

I thought of destroying it (the proof, not the human!), but I look so pretty and it will be a loss for my future biography. Don’t you think so?!

guinea_pigs_tales_kirk_cereals(Sorry for the poor quality of the photo, but I was on the run!)