Kirk's tales

The eternal winner

guinea_pigs_tales_profile_kirkEverybody is so preoccupied with bonding Spock and Data that forgot to mention my newest title.  So, in August I was, again, the winner of a contest on our favourite Facebook group. Thanks to Data, who saw the opportunity and picked the best photo, I’ve got the biggest number of likes. My happiness was spoiled only by the human female…

She becomes altruist and all politically correct in the weirdest situations, meaning when it’s not all about her. So, winning the contest should have put me on the cover photo of the group. Not me in person, don’t freak out! My beautiful, expressive photo. I’m still in Brussels, Belgium, admiring the rainy weather… But, the human female thought it unfair toward the other piggies and gave our permission not to be me again. Honestly, she should speak for herself and let Data speak for us!

The human female thinks that just because all her friends voted for me, I should not be awarded that photo. Apparently she has the impression that her Facebook friends vote for me just because I’m hers, not because I’m handsome and photogenic. And, after all, I never told anyone not to vote for the others also…

As a punishment, I’ve been very moody lately, even nibbling her from time to time. And I took advantage of her weakness regarding my beautiful eyes: I’ve asked for extra time floor and some cuddles after that. It’s like a massage after a workout! It relaxes me and makes me sleep like a baby. Or an angel. You pick! And I make her wear her fluffy anorak, which is awesome for cuddles, but also gets all the hay from my paws stuck into it. And my lose fur… So I really get my revenge.  😀

Now, just look at me how handsome and expressive I am! I am shocked nobody asked me again to shoot some commercials…

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Kirk's tales

When would I be famous…

guinea_pigs_tales_profile_kirkOh, my! Six days have passed since our last post! This is unbelievable… To make up for this, I will teach you how to become famous. Yeah, I’ll talk a lot about me, but I am a star already and I’m allowed.

First of all, you need some dedicated humans around you. It will take some time to train them well and make them see how handsome or beautiful you are. For them the standards are different (no fur, skinny look etc.), so making them understand what is really nice – big furry but, whiskers… – takes time. Also you need to teach them how to prim a future furry star: what kind of veggies are good for the fur, the best shampoo to be used and so forth.

Then you must identify PR opportunities – websites, contests and a lot of other options that can make you famous. But for this you need a dedicated pal, the type that has the network or the skills to build one in order to promote you. As you can’t intrust a total stranger to this task, I strongly recommend to become part of gang. This means accepting other Guinea Pigs in your house, but it’s totally worth it. I have Data for this and I am happy with him. OK, not happy sensing his scent on my human, but happy with the outcome of his activity. He managed to make us visible on Facebook and to put me in some nice contests.

But let me tell you about the competitions in which I participated… Please bear in mind that you will not win each and every one. Not even I managed this kind of performance, and we all know I am handsome and lovable. Our first attempt was on a French forum dedicated to Guinea Pigs. In September 2013, I convinced the human it was high time to present me in a competition. I was very nervous, I supervised the creation of my poster and checked the forum every day to see the evolution of votes. After 10 days of incredible emotions, I was declared the winner. I was so happy that I even popcorned several times, although my beautiful big but didn’t allow a considerable height.

In 2014 I launched myself on Facebook also. First contest was a little bit of a disappointment because our human doesn’t have so many “friends” and we were not able to gather enough likes to put me on the first place. But I finished the third and it was also fine. The second one was a true fiasco… I finished also the third and got no chance to see my beautiful face as a wallpaper on a famous group for Guinea Pigs. As my sadness deepened, The Gang and the humans decided to campaign more for the next attempt. And, yes! The third one was the lucky one: my lips and whiskers got me the first place and the promise that I will feature in a calendar at the end of the year. I look forward to see my face on the wall.

So, to conclude: get a trained human, get a PR specialist (preferably a Guinea Pig!), learn how to overpass the failures (you need a support team to constantly remind you how beautiful you are) and rule the world.

A kiss for all of you!

kirk_winner

 

Kirk's tales

Competing again

If someone thinks beauty and intelligence are rarely to be found together in a living being, let me tell you that I am one of those rare beings. I am beautiful and the numerous likes I get when participating in contest prove this. On the other hand, being such a fine psychoanalyst requires intelligence, so I have plenty of that also.

As the world we live in tends to be shallow, I focus my career on my beauty and I would really like to become famous for this. Then I could change the world with my intelligence… I know I am not blue blood so I have no chance in the very exclusivist competitions, but anyhow my target is not the few that are the public for this. I want to speak to the many!

My next goal is to have my face in a calendar at the end of 2014. Actually this became my goal after Spock informed me about the opportunity. He is somehow the brain behind all our campaigns… So, I’ve asked Data to put my picture for the contest. Now I just have to gather as many likes as possible.

In the meanwhile, I’ve been busy exploring the couch. First, dig in & dig out from the blanket…

kirk_diggingThen testing the quality of some paper roll.

kirk_paperAnd finally showing my best side and butt for the camera…

kirk_buttSo, do I deserve or not to be in that calendar?

Data's tales

Lost battle

guinea_pigs_tales_Data_profileFirst of all, we are sorry for our absence. But… We were very busy campaigning, planning and executing in order to help Kirk winning the contest launched by Kevin the Cavy.

Unfortunately, despite our best efforts, Kirk is some 120 votes behind the Guinea Pig on the first place. We suspect that piggy taking over his human Facebook account and hacking all the friends’ accounts to get votes. Of course, maybe he is more fortunate and his human has a lot of Facebook friends, not like ours that have only four hundred something (the female) and one hundred (the male).

Anyway, we were really creative and all working for the same purpose, including the human female. She gave us access to her Facebook account and her own blog and we could spam all her “friends” with requests for votes. Some of other Romanian bloggers and friends even helped us and shared our message.

Worf was in charge of supervising the contest album and the number of votes. He had spent so many days staring at that screen that he almost turned into a mole. Not that it would have been very difficult as he is already black and brown…

worf_campaign

Spock was in charge of the campaign flyers and he managed to do a good job. He even abstained himself from chewing the posters.

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Of course I was in charge of planning and organizing everything, so I’ve spent several days buried in papers and analyzing names, sending messages and fighting for our cause.

data_campaign

Kirk had only one thing to do: stay in shape. And he seems to be very good at it.

kirk_campaign

So, we admit we have no means to overlap the difference of votes. But we are very thankful for the almost 300 votes we already got. Our Facebook page has only 83 followers, so we never expected so many votes. Anyway, if you still want to help and vote, you can do it following this link.

I’m going to be sad in my corner…

Kirk's tales

Campaigning for Kirk

guinea_pigs_tales_profile_kirkEurope is in the middle of some elections for the European Parliament. Also some countries are electing their own parliaments… USA had some elections also. So, we thought, why not campaigning for something?! All these frenzy got us and we don’t want to stay aside.

As we do not like politics, it was a tough decision to pick the subject of our campaign. Fresh vegies and the right to poop and pee whenever and wherever were already gained by our ancestors. The right of having a human servant is also implicit, so what should we fight for?! But thanks to Kevin the Cavy we found a purpose in life! At least for short term… So, I was asked by the Gang to participate in the contest and run for the possibility to have an appearance in a sketch. It was hard to accept this challenge, but I had to admit my pictures were the cutest.

The goal had been settled, how about the champagne?! Data underlined very well that we should focus on Facebook given the fact that I need some likes. Everyone participated in the making off of this champagne! Being focused on Facebook, an investment in banners and flyers is almost useless and we decided to save the money for diapers and fresh vegies.

But on we unleashed the beast on Facebook! The human female took this very personally and threatened her more than 400 “friends” with excommunication in case they don’t vote for me. True, not all of them check the updates regularly, so I yesterday I had only 85 votes, but she is fighting for it. I just hope her boss won’t find out and fire her…

In case you want to hack into your biped’s Facebook account and vote for me, you can give a like here. And if you are not yet convinced I’m cute enough to win, just take a look of this picture.

kirk_contest