Few days ago, our mean human posted some photos with me on Facebook and some other mean humans commented and made fun of my habits. Just to make it clear, we are talking about this two photos.


She suggested that I’m piling up the food because I’m afraid somebody will steal it. Now, I just want to clarify some aspects! First, yes, it is true, I have the feeling that somebody may pick my food while I sleep, but I don’t think that someone will be one of “my boys”. Maybe Worf because he really cleans everything, but he loves me also and wouldn’t prejudice me. On the other hand, the way the humans are looking at my veggies scares me to hell. It’s like my veggies are tastier than what they have in the kitchen. So, yes, I’m afraid the humans will steal my food!

Next, I pile up my food close to me because I like comfort. It’s much easier to eat when the food is right under your nose than to wake up, get out of the wood house, search for the food and only then start chewing it. You should try it! You don’t even have to open your eyes. Just put the food in your mouth and eat. This is also the reason why we, the guinea Pigs, pee and poop where we sleep.

And not the last, sleeping on a pillow may be fun. Humans do this all the time, why wouldn’t I?!



How to attack a cucumber

I love cucumber. I could eat one huge cucumber at every meal. But humans don’t seem to understand well this because they are kind of rationalizing my cucumber pretending that it contains too much water and it is not very good for my digestion.

This being said, you understand why eating a piece of cucumber it’s such a big deal for me. And I must calculate well how I should proceed in order to maximize the pleasure of serving it. Of course, in the days when I don’t get a cucumber, I think a lot to this issue and make plans for the next encounter with this kind of vegetable.

First of all, I must explain you that a cucumber looks like a cylinder, not considering the ends also. So it’s difficult to decidewhich side to attack first. Then, the peel is harder and the core is softer. So another problem to analyze: should I start with one or with the other? Anyway, this second issue has a simple answer – in order to get to the core, you need to pill the cucumber off. But, as logical as it seems, I’m still trying to find a new approach.

Back to our cylindrical problem, the end with which I should start is always a very important decision because it affects the speed of consumption. What if the cucumber is not a perfect cylinder and one end has a smaller diameter than the other? Because usually this is the case: humans don’t grow perfect cucumbers and it’s hard to do measurements for the diameters when you are hungry. So, the decision should be based on a critical visual analysis of the object, meaning the piece of cucumber.

In my case, as I can’t decide, I start with no matter which end, chew a little around it and then pass to the other end. This way, I’m creating a perfect ball. Not that I need or I could use a ball, but it is fun seeing the humans being ecstatic in front of my creation. Of course, after they stop being amazed with my ball, I eat it. Or sometimes I start with the middle… All depends of my mood.

I hope the humans won’t start to cut differently my cucumber before finding answers to my current questions. As you may get it, today I had no cucumber in my menu… (Below is an old picture.)


What a beggar I am!

I already told you I like food. But I haven’t told you yet how I like to taste what humans are eating. Sure, not everything, but if there are fresh fruits or vegetables, I practice my skills and convince them to share with me. 😀

Few months ago, the human male was having his breakfast at the table. I smelled some cucumber and looked around in my room – there were vegies, but no cucumber. So I had to have a piece! After all, it’s one of my favorites. I’ve waited a little bit just to check if the human self-intimations himself but, of course, as he is selfish, he continued eating with no sign of remembering my existence.

This was impossible! I’ve started wheeking from the bottom of my lungs. And I kept wheeking and wheeking as he continued eating. After two minutes or so, he noticed the noise especially that Spock decided to join me. He (Spock) even went out on the couch, approaching the human from the back with the visible intent of demanding food. I was very proud of him! Disturbed by our scandal, the human tried to talk his way out of trouble by calming us down and talking nicely.

But there was no chance! I wanted my cucumber and I had to have it. So I was wheeking and jumping all around my cage giving him the impression I could cause a little earthquake that could destroy the house. His house, not ours. 😀 Finally, he reacted, and gave me a piece of cucumber. What a precious piece! The food from other plates is always better then what I have in my own room.

And on Saturday it was the banana. I usually don’t eat fruits (I’m already sweet enough), banana included. The human male was having one in his hands and just walking around the house eating it. Although I was having enough food, practicing my manipulative skills is always a joy. So, I’ve started sniffing, wheeking discretely and waited to be noticed. It worked super fast.

The human female warned the male I was not liking bananas, and most likely she was right. But, as any positive gesture from humans should be rewarded in order to train them effectively, I got closer to the banana and grabbed a piece. Pretty tasty, but not my type. They were amazed and I was pleased. So I could go back to sleep being sure they are still in my power.