Data's tales

My first birthday party

guinea_pigs_tales_Data_profileApparently on the 15th of October it was my birthday. To be honest, no one knows exactly the day I was born because in a pet shop nobody cares about this. But our human female decided that no piggy should live without having a birthday party and a reason to celebrate once per year. So, based on some complex calculations (my weight, the date I arrived in pet shop, the lies the employees of such place tell about one’s age), she concluded I was born somewhere in October and 15th of October seemed a good date to celebrate.

I had no idea what to expect. I never had a birthday party, Spock and Kirk were vague in their explanations, so I didn’t know what will happen. Of course, 15th was a working day, so no human was around and available to bring treats and let us play in the house. But we’ve spent a lot of time in front of the laptop watching sows playing in grass on YouTube. Awesome day! Just me and my boys! Although we are always just the four of us…

The human promised me a birthday party in the week-end. And I waited that week-end like no other. But Saturday passed with no sign of a party for us, although they had a bbq, and Sunday began with scary suggestions like “bath”. Still, hope was with me.

After we had breakfast, the human let us explore the house. I and Spock got the bedroom, where no one has gone before. OK, Spock was there once before for two minutes! So, I’ve got the chance to pee and poop in a brand new room. Priceless! Unfortunately, after this fun part, she really gave us a bath with some fancy shampoo to treat some presumable lice issue. But Spock made sure she got out of this as soaked as we were. When I went back to my room, I was surprised to realise we were moved one room to the right, so that Kirk was not our neighbour anymore. Now he has a better view over the house and Worf on his right.


But the real party started only after! And it was all about nice herbs! The human grew fresh grass for us. Especially for my birthday! And she also bought us some dill, which I love. And I’ve also got a fleece blanket in my room. It was super fun. After all, even the bath was cool, because my fur is now soft and white. Although for a while I looked like a decrepit lamb…

Now I look forward for Worf’s birthday party: I’ve heard we will have loads of pellets!

Kirk's opinions about humans, Kirk's tales, Uncategorized

How to wake up your human(s)

I don’t know why or from where they got this impression, but our humans think they should sleep long in the week-ends. Very strange habit and idea that has to be corrected; especially that it keeps them from fulfilling their duty to us.

Last week-end was not an exception and I had to take attitude and to convince Spock that this situation must not proliferate. We need to eat around 7:30h, we got used with this and this is how it should be. I am flexible, but not when it comes to food. When the sun goes up, I get up, so everybody else should do the same…

So, Saturday morning I’ve waited until 7:30, still hoping someone will come out of the bedroom with the clear intention of providing me the first round of vegies of the day. But no! My plan was done since one week ago when this situation also occurred, I just had to convince Spock to participate in, although he doesn’t really have the means for it. I’m saying this because I’ve decided to use my next big weapon after my brain: my butt. To sum it up: my butt needs vegies to stay fit, so it’s up to it to fight for food.

When you have a heavy, big, furry but, you know it can make a lot of noise when it touches the ground after a controlled fell. So, I jump from the top of my wood house and instead of placing nicely my butt on the floor, I just drop it. Once on the plastic floor, I start running around making sure to hit the margins of my room with the same weapon. Thanks all gods that I have fur and fat on my back, so it doesn’t heart at all when I’m doing this. You got the idea: butt on the floor, butt on the margins, salt on the roof of the house again and repeat! In the meanwhile, I was also wheeking very loud. But really loud, like somebody was trying to catch me and eat me.

Spock was doing his best also, although he is lighter than I and his butt is not that helpful. But he can wheek really loud also. He had a very good idea, though, and started chewing the bars and making a lot of supplementary noise.

After 10 minutes of hard work, the shindy must have awaken the humans because the human female came out of the bedroom disheveled, opened our rooms and fed us with some cucumber and parsnips. She tried to go back to sleep, but we did a really good job and she was not able to close her eyes anymore after our little show. She seemed a bit upset, but still sent a human to the market to buy us some dill.


For any advice on how to wake up your human during holidays or week-ends, contact us. We give advice for free, in this case. 😛