Guinea Pigs' lifestyle

Well trained piggy slave

7:10 am. Ms M gets out of the bedroom.

As soon as Archy spots her, he starts wheeking. Not very difficult to spot her, as his pen is right next to the door. So, he starts wheeking. Softly in the beginning, louder and louder after all.

Ms M rushes to the veggie shelf, grabs an apple and a red paprika, cuts each of them in four chunks and rushes back to Archy’s pen with them. Meanwhile the bigger toddler already woke up due to the wheeking, but she fell back asleep.

After feeding Archy, Ms M goes to the other three. They wheek, but not that loud.

Kirk sniffs the apple and the pepper and doesn’t seem impressed. Not only this, but he places himself at the fence with a begging face.

Definitely Ms M is impressed and goes grab the celery to give him something he likes. Poor guy, not even a week ago he was on a surgery! He needs to be spoiled.

Finally, some pellets and hay and the piggies are quiet again.

Time to wake up the toddlers!

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Spock's tales

How to better use a human toddler

spock_profile_2The little human rascal advanced to the toddler stage. And as she claims more and more autonomy and independence, we need to intervene and keep her on our side.

We used to use her as a distraction for the Human Female. The little brat would keep the (i)responsible human female busy and she would forget to clip our nails, bath us or clean our greasy fur. For dinner we would wheek loud enough to make sure she is aware of our presence.

But since the Toddler toddles, she can be rushed outside the house by the Human Male and kept there for at least half an hour. And this is sufficient time for the Human female to take action.

Last Thursday it was a National Holiday in Belgium. The Toddler asked to walk the Human Male. The Human female found herself alone in the house with at least 20 minutes in her hands. As she lost the habit of having such luxury, she had no idea what to do. Until she laid her eyes on us… And instead of just petting us and enjoying our company, she decided it was time for a manicure and a pedicure.

Worf was the unlucky one because she decided to start with him. But by the time she finished, the Toddler was back and asked for her attention. So the rest of us just chilled. (I am perfectly capable of chewing my own claws. Just that I have no envy in doing so.)

But on Saturday she did it on purpose. She asked the Human Male to rush the Toddler outside so she could concentrate on us. And no matter how hard I tried to hide she managed to catch me. Outrageous!

So now we are trying to find more ways of bribing the Toddler to keep the Human Female busy. Like super busy! Apparently our fresh veggies and pellets are not enough as a bribe anymore. Any ideas?

P.S. This is how upset Worf and Kirk looked like after the spa session on Saturday morning.

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Kirk's tales, Uncategorized

It smells like hay spirit!

kirk_profile_2Due to repeated issues with home deliveries via DHL, the HF decided to have the new order delivered at her office. I think she somehow underestimated the dimensions of the parcel and had the idea that it will be easy to transport home.

Well, surprise, surprise! The parcel was delivered yesterday and it was huge. I mean really really huge. 10 kilos of hay, two bags of a special dry food to help Worf poop better and 4 packs of puppy pads can’t fit in a small box. You should have seen the face of the HF! She had to find a solution to store those things away from the eyes of her colleagues and guests from work. How could one justify the presence of so much hay in a lobby consultancy?!

She managed somehow to fit everything under her desk and already brought home one pack of 5 kilos of hay, but the other one is still under her desk. And it smells. OK, it is not a bad smell. But it smells like hay in a place where there should be no hay. Hopefully no one will realise from where this comes from before the second pack of hay leaves the office this evening.

The funny part was that she had to drag that pack of hay in a caddy and pass by the crèche to pick the little rascal too. Imagine how the other parents were looking at all that hay! I think some even asked themselves if the toddler was actually eating hay.

And this is how the hay looks like under her desk. Sorry for the poor quality.

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So this is what I call dedication and a well-trained human servant!

Spock's tales, Uncategorized

Checking on her

spock_profile_2Our humans leave the house every week day in the morning saying they go to work because they need money to provide for us. I really don’t think that our groceries are that expensive, but let’s say that I believe their excuses. Still we were curious where does she work and what is she doing the whole day. So we came up with an ingenious plan to check on her, taking advantage of the fact that our vet is near her office.

First thing, one of us had to pretend being sick. I mean you don’t just go to the vet and pay € 40 to have a chit chat about the weather. As we are not at all good actors, we were just waiting for a minor thing to show up so we could make a big deal out of it and require a trip to the vet. I know, a little bit cruel from us, but we had to do it.

I was the chosen one. By the faith or by the all-mighty-guinea-pig-god-in-whom-I-do-not-believe. A small fatty lump grew on my back and I somehow had to pretend to stay still and let the HF find it. She was shocked and hyperventilating for a moment, but then all her good sense came back and she assessed it might be only a fatty lump. So let’s not panic, but let’s have an appointment with the vet.

The Z day was a rainy one (no surprise for Belgium!). The HM had the honour to transport me to the HF office and then I had the second part of the trip in her company. We’ve waited a little to the vet and this was a good opportunity to hear dogs barking and cats meowing. I am grateful we don’t have such companions in the house! Anyway, to calm me down, she took me out of my transport box and cuddled me for about 10 minutes. It was quite nice. At home I am too busy with Data, but there I had the time to let her do it…

Then the vet saw me and confirmed what I already knew: that I was a healthy boy and that lump was nothing to worry about. The HF paid and off we went to her office to wait for my private transporter to come and pick me.

While I was waiting, I was placed on the HF desk and she cuddled me more. She also introduced me to her colleagues and took photos of me sitting quietly on her desk.

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From my part, I had the opportunity to realise that she is not super busy at work so she should not complain of being tired at home! Moreover, I really believe there is something missing from her desk: some guinea pig poop. But I like that she has photos of us close to her. And her job seems boring, so I rather let her work and us to stay home and enjoy life.

Have you ever visited your humans at work?

Kirk's opinions about humans, Kirk's tales, Uncategorized

She’s losing it!

kirk_profile_2Our humans disappointed me… Again. But I should get used with it. Just because there are no perfect humans out there. After all, they are not Guinea Pigs!

They left for Venice last week. With all the explosive hassle from Brussels, they went on with their holidays plan. Fine for me, we already said they are weird and need breaks. But they messed up our timetable. Big time!

Instead of receiving 4 fresh veggies per day in two turns, we ended up receiving only three in once. And the humans that were in charge of feeding us were as incompetent as our humans. Honestly now! They insisted on petting us. But I reacted and bit the lady. We left the 9 years old child alone, she still has a chance to turn more competent. Whatever…

The worst part is that our humans were supposed to bring us some Hard Rock Café paper bags. Apparently they took them from the shop and stored them somewhere in the luggage. But they were nowhere to be found once they got home! So, just imagine this: they tell us that there are some bags for us and then, suddenly, there is none. Disappointing!

And this week the HM is at home. He pretends to being sick so he doesn’t really cuddle us. Really?! He coughs a little and has to blow his nose every now and then. This is not an excuse…

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll go be disappointed in my own wood house.

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Wof's tales

Potential intrusion in our privacy

Humans are crazy. And weird. And today I say this in a negative way.

They enjoy killing each other. But they have no respect in doing so. They rather do it cowardly by using guns and explosives in the middle of an unarmed crowd. Or by attacking others while being in a bullet proof car…

Yeas, we do kill each other also. Sometimes. But not massively. And we do pick the fight with a specific guy. And we do not use guns, but our bear claws and teeth. So it’s an even fight.

We do not hate entire populations just because they are different. Imagine how it would be for the white piggies with red eyes to hate all the Rex piggies. Yeap, it sounds crazy!

Yesterday some humans from Brussels, Belgium, Europe blew themselves up in the Airport and in a metro station. Due to this, now there is panic in the city.

Of course our HF panicked a little too. She managed to check on the HM and the baby, but could not check on us. We were not in an area of interest, but still she would have loved to make sure we are fine. Now, she has no idea we could write an email so this was not an option for her. Actually she has no idea we could communicate with her somehow.

So she decided to install a webcam to supervise us. And the HM took the idea over…

What is wrong with you, people?! Did it cross your mind to ask us if we would like to go live on the Internet?!

Whatever… No consideration for us. I will have to ask the guys to come up with a revenge plan.

In the meanwhile, we decided to sabotage the webcam and make sure it’s not broadcasting live and open on the Internet. I would really hate to see unapproved photos with my white but all over the online environment.

Moreover, I plan on turning on that camera only when we are in the mood for it. Our humans should never learn that we are able to write emails, take care of a blog, Facebook page and so on. Because I suppose she will be so amazed by our skills that she will ask us to ghost write for her. Which is a no go! I love my life as non-busy as it is.

As for the moment my white but is a taboo, I leave you a photo of my cute little face. 😀

(Please excuse the red eyes. Sometimes the hf is a poor photographer.)

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Data's tales, Uncategorized

The Chinese Drop

data_profile_2The humans are convinced that the only things we do is eat, poop, sleep, repeat. To be honest they are not far from the truth, but we also do other very important things. Like planning to achieve world domination, training the little human rascal and keeping the human adults in good shape.

As we said before, the hm got the bad habit of sleeping on the couch. And the weird part is that although the baby is not even near him, he can’t get a full night sleep. He toss and turns and disturbs us too. I mean, come on! We get sleep in stashes of 20 minutes, but we need the house to be calm and quiet during those moments.

With this in mind, we try to get revenge and teach him a lesson every time there is an opportunity. And few days ago we had this awesome opportunity with some paper bags. The hf insisted in washing our tunnels, and we’ve got some paper bags with hay to keep us company during the night. Spock and I immediately cut another emergency exit in the bag’s back (whenever he is chasing me, I need an escape route!).

During the first day we just enjoyed the hay inside the bags and chewed a little bit of paper. But during the second night we’ve made a pact and started to take turns in tossing that bag and munching it.

The hm endured for a while, woke up several times, got crazy and finally got out of bed and took our paper bags. That was so funny! You should have seen his face!

Of course that the next morning the hf got mad and explained that this was not possible and that we should be kept entertained at all costs. That was even funnier.

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