Wof's tales

Worf and the laptop

From time to time I get to spend some time on the couch while the human female changes the bedding in my room. Usually I just freeze: although she is busy with my pen, I still fear she can turn and eat me. But recently I’ve told myself to give it a try and explore the couch a little bit.

Usually the couch is not a very interesting place to be on… I mean what can you find there?! A pillow… But, sometimes, the human male abandons his laptop with the lap support. And last time it was there. We already told you that we prefer the human female’s laptop, but this one looked interesting also. At least an attempt to communicate with it was necessary.

Now, a human would think that in order to communicate with a device, the last one must be turned on and opened. But we, the superior living beings in the house, know that this is not really the case. One can communicate with a machine easily using his or her brain. Isn’t it?! I mean, just look at me!

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OK, I know, I’m not fooling anyone: I was just hiding around and exploring the tunnel. The laptop was very stubborn and refused to talk to me. Even though I’ve took it on my back and walked with threatening to throw it from the couch…

What do you do for fun?

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Data's tales

The laptop is back!

guinea_pigs_tales_Data_profileHer vacation ended in a cloud of rain, all gods hearing our prayers and revenge wishes. From a sunny weather and beach, she landed in the normal Brussels where it is cloudy and raining. Of course we were happy to see her, but we were even happier to find our dear old friend, The Laptop, still in a good shape, not very tanned and neither filled with sand. Also, The Photo Camera came back in a similar good shape.

You may think she missed us a lot, but you would be wrong. At least in my opinion… True, after she kissed the human male, she came and picked us all and cuddled, but only for short. Pretending to be tired after the return flight, she went to bed early and left us as she found us. Fortunately the human male had already fed us. But the worst part is yet to come!

Sunday morning she woke up late, around 8:30!, and first thing to do was to weight us. Honestly?! She could have cuddled us or express her joy to see us! But she chose to do the chores as usually… But the demanding Spock was not very happy with this so he started his show on the couch – running around, asking to be cuddled, and demanding his rights. After we had breakfast, she decided it was time to clean our rooms, so we’ve got some floor time which was cool. Spock even managed to jump in the hay box. We have no idea how he managed, the box being 17cm tall, but it seemed very easy from where I was watching… So, no special time with us!

On top of all this, I’ve got a new dose of treatment for lice and some nails clipped. And Kirk got all his nails clipped. I really think this is outrageous and I feel we must teach her a lesson.

By the way, she spent most of the day uploading photos like this one on Facebook and Picasa.

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I really don’t understand humans!

 

Spock's tales

Not again!

guinea_pigs_tales_spock_profileI knew we should not agree with her going on vacation. Our only excuse is that she was bubbling about how much she needed to rest and relax and enjoy some sun and sea water. So, we honestly thought she will just go do that. But no! She took the laptop with her, like she would write the masterpiece of her career in these 8 days out of Brussels!

You see?! This is our real problem: we are without laptop. Or laptopless, to put more correct. The human male has his own, but it has a weird keyboard (azerty I think…) that we do not like. And none of our shortcuts in the Favourites bar. More, he is almost all the time at home with his beloved laptop. This ragging post is written while he took Data to the vet for the 3rd time in 4 months and the rest of us had some time to check social media and blog. Don’t tell them, but Data faked his medical issues just to make the human male go out on a rainy day and leave us with the laptop.

Now, what exactly I was saying?! I have no idea… I think I just needed some space to complain. Especially that we are campaigning for Kirk again and we are using her laptop usually. But now we are stuck and there is nothing we can do about it. Next time, we will ask to go on vacation with her. Just to check what is so great about a large water and some sand. I mean, what normal creature would like to cook herself in the sun and sink in water? We wouldn’t! Imagine my perfect white fur sweating and all the sand stuck around my grease gland! Not talking about the water! I do not like water and bathing… And August is approaching fast and it’s time for our bath.

Oh, yes! I just want to say that we haven’t abandoned the blog, nor the social media. Just that we have some technical issues (the lack of our preferred laptop counts as that, no?!) and we are carefully considering using the humans’ credit cards to buy ourselves a dedicated laptop.

OK, now I’m tired… I’ll go check the couch for some food.

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Kirk's tales

The prove!

Since we’ve started this blog, we’ve heard some humans expressing their doubts regarding the fact that a Guinea Pig could really write and use a laptop. And I find this offending! Humans have a very good opinion about themselves and very little consideration to our skills…

So, yes, it is me and Spock writing this blog. I definitely can and know how to use a laptop. It is not at all complicated, after you pass the urge of chewing the cables, of course. Because this is the big inner fight: not to pee on the keyboard and not to taste the cables! But with some self-control and motivation, is doable. For sure! And another problem is to convince the humans to leave the laptop somewhere accessible for us. I can use it, but I can’t fly from the couch to the table. I have my limits, but I’m thinking to bring a big parrot in the house that could carry me all over the place. 😀 Just don’t share yet my plan with the humans; I’m still searching for a way to manipulate them…

Let’s go back to our story and how easy is to use a laptop. On Saturday, for example, while she was cleaning the mess we do (Spock will share this one!), I’ve managed to convince her to put me in the master bed and to leave me there with the laptop. So, I had a good hour to write and do something to contribute to the development of my kind. First I made my tour in the bed, checked the sheets and quilts, asked for my fleece, peed, pooped etc. All this took me exactly 32 minutes and 14 seconds.

Then I went back in front of the laptop and I remembered I would love to check the Amazon for some wooden houses, sleeping bags and other Guinea Pigs’ indispensable stuff. I got lost on the Internet, like always, and I realized this after another 16 minutes and 23 seconds. It was really the time to start writing because I was sure the human female will reclaim her laptop soon.

It took me several minutes (OK, around 10…) to write this post. Of course the human female came, saw me and started shooting photos. So, I also have a visual prove of me really writing this blog. Since she was already around and I was done being creative for the moment, I asked to be teasel while Spock was tearing apart the house living room.

If you are a Guinea Pig and want to use a computer, just keep in mind you need to start by learning a foreign language – the humans’ language. It is not complicated at all, just need to pay attention to them. I don’t get why is so difficult for them to understand us! I could speak fluently their language since I was 3 months old, but they still have moments when they don’t understand me…

Anyway, check out the photos. And please note I turned off the laptop after finishing my work. Let’s be sustainable! And green. By the way, I love green!

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