Me against the chair

guinea_pigs_tales_Data_profileIt took me awhile to get the courage to talk about this. Plenty of hours of therapy spent with Kirk… But finally, after more than three weeks, I feel ready to talk about it.

It was on a Friday evening. The human put us on the floor. And not only me, Spock and the agitator Kirk, but also Worf. I mean that little Worf really doesn’t like other piggies so close to him. The human was preparing the camera to record our first exit as a gang. Spock and Kirk were sniffing Worf under two folded chairs. Usually a third one is there, unfolded, in order to keep them in place. But this time it wasn’t… I just wanted to go away from them (too much agitation for my taste) when all the movements caused one of the chairs to fall.

I never thought I would thank The Almighty Guinea Pig God that it was the heaviest chair that fell. But this one has the seat like a box and I was trapped in that box. As I can flatten and become a pancake, that box was like a shelter. Only that I got really frightened and I was struggling to get out from there. The human gave a high pitch scream, dropped the camera and pulled the chair with a horror look on her face. She admitted later that her first thought was that I was dead. Then she reasoned that I’m not yet, but I may be handicapped or die in the next minutes. But when she took the chair and I run fast to hide somewhere else, she realised there is still hope.

Immediately I was put back in my room and checked all over. Except for a limp on my hind right paw, everything was fine. But she didn’t want to believe me! She spent the next four or five hours watching me and checking for internal bleeding signs. I even got to spend 20 minutes in her lap… She was really prepared to take me to the emergency room! I think she really calmed down only next morning when she saw I was eating and pooping normally.

After three weeks, I’m fine. Sharing the same room with Spock, but this is another story. I still limp after a lot of running around, but the visit to the vet was avoided. And I’m still cute!



The eternal winner

guinea_pigs_tales_profile_kirkEverybody is so preoccupied with bonding Spock and Data that forgot to mention my newest title.  So, in August I was, again, the winner of a contest on our favourite Facebook group. Thanks to Data, who saw the opportunity and picked the best photo, I’ve got the biggest number of likes. My happiness was spoiled only by the human female…

She becomes altruist and all politically correct in the weirdest situations, meaning when it’s not all about her. So, winning the contest should have put me on the cover photo of the group. Not me in person, don’t freak out! My beautiful, expressive photo. I’m still in Brussels, Belgium, admiring the rainy weather… But, the human female thought it unfair toward the other piggies and gave our permission not to be me again. Honestly, she should speak for herself and let Data speak for us!

The human female thinks that just because all her friends voted for me, I should not be awarded that photo. Apparently she has the impression that her Facebook friends vote for me just because I’m hers, not because I’m handsome and photogenic. And, after all, I never told anyone not to vote for the others also…

As a punishment, I’ve been very moody lately, even nibbling her from time to time. And I took advantage of her weakness regarding my beautiful eyes: I’ve asked for extra time floor and some cuddles after that. It’s like a massage after a workout! It relaxes me and makes me sleep like a baby. Or an angel. You pick! And I make her wear her fluffy anorak, which is awesome for cuddles, but also gets all the hay from my paws stuck into it. And my lose fur… So I really get my revenge.  😀

Now, just look at me how handsome and expressive I am! I am shocked nobody asked me again to shoot some commercials…


It’s a hard life…

guinea_pigs_tales_worf_profileYeah, it’s been a while! But we were busy bounding and making sure Data has nothing serious after his accident with the chair. He will tell you about this soon. The humans are trying vary combinations among us hoping that at some point they’ll see at least two piggies cuddling together. My honest opinion is that this is not going to happen, but humans have this hope and I can’t break their hearts. (I’m afraid I won’t get veggies anymore…)

Now, to be completely honest, I have nothing to do with their bounding. The human tried to put me with Kirk and I just stood in a corner waiting for that moment to go away. I was moving only when I couldn’t do anything else to get rid of him. And the meeting between the four of us was also a complete disaster: Kirk and Spock were bullying me, they moved a chair and the chair fell on Data. After this, the humans got the idea that I prefer solitude. Yes, I like seeing them around, but just not in my room!

I even got to take a walk in the house under the couches all by myself. It’s so nice! Nobody else around, just me and a lot of space to explore. And if I have a place to hide, I even find courage to get in open space and pick the pellets humans are dropping on the floor. Now don’t imagine a wide open space! There is still a coffee table and a chair around…

Plus, I like being alone in my cage because I don’t want to share my veggies with anybody else. To be honest with you, I’m afraid the others will eat from my vegies and I will starve. Like for example on Tuesday evening when the human male gave us a portion of cucumber and one of carrot. But I have the impression he still considers us babies, because the pieces were just too small. I finished mine in about two hours! And the pellets! So when the human female arrived home, I was prepared with my puppy eyes. She instantly realised I was super hungry and started shouting at the human male that he has no mercy regarding me. He had no chance to defend himself and tell her that I received the same quantity as the others. And I’ve got an extra portion of cucumber and some pellets. I’m just wondering when they will realize that for a piggy of 1080g (constant weight) I eat a lot. I even eat much more than the others…


Now, ladies, stop envying me! I know: it’s a gift to be able to eat as much as I do and still stay fit. But it’s because I popcorn a lot!